Comments on: Italian Men Get Smarter With Age http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/ Living and Traveling in Calabria, Italy Tue, 22 May 2012 13:10:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Franco http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-20475 Franco Fri, 11 May 2012 20:15:38 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-20475 Hi Cherrye, I would like to apologize on behalf of all Italian men. I hope that the younger generation is different. I grew up and completed high school in Southern Italy (Calabria). I now live in Canada. I believe it is a generational thing and some of your readers have indicated so. Some (I do not believe we should generalize) man of that generation, do not seem to understand the meaning of "buon costume". I do not believe that they think that American girls are all prostitutes. However, they may think that they are easier to pick up than Italian women. I trust that things are changing somewhat as a lady friend of mine just came back from a trip to Italy and she told me that she was expecting aggressive behaviour by the Italian men in the south but she found that it was those of the north who actually misbehaved. I do not think it makes any difference if this type of behaviour happens in Milano, Venice, Rome, Sorrento o Taormina as I believe bad manners are bad manners irrespective of nationality, region, ethnic background or age. As for what one could do to make them stop, a firm "stop bothering me" in a loud voice, should be sufficient to embarrass them as it would attract the attention of others. A polite response usually does not work, as it may be viewed as flirting and/or a sign of encouragement (hard to believe but that is why they do not stop). I appreciate your posts and learning new things about Italy all the time (both good and not so good). Ciao.. Hi Cherrye, I would like to apologize on behalf of all Italian men. I hope that the younger generation is different. I grew up and completed high school in Southern Italy (Calabria). I now live in Canada.

I believe it is a generational thing and some of your readers have indicated so. Some (I do not believe we should generalize) man of that generation, do not seem to understand the meaning of “buon costume”. I do not believe that they think that American girls are all prostitutes. However, they may think that they are easier to pick up than Italian women.

I trust that things are changing somewhat as a lady friend of mine just came back from a trip to Italy and she told me that she was expecting aggressive behaviour by the Italian men in the south but she found that it was those of the north who actually misbehaved.

I do not think it makes any difference if this type of behaviour happens in Milano, Venice, Rome, Sorrento o Taormina as I believe bad manners are bad manners irrespective of nationality, region, ethnic background or age.

As for what one could do to make them stop, a firm “stop bothering me” in a loud voice, should be sufficient to embarrass them as it would attract the attention of others. A polite response usually does not work, as it may be viewed as flirting and/or a sign of encouragement (hard to believe but that is why they do not stop).

I appreciate your posts and learning new things about Italy all the time (both good and not so good).

Ciao..

]]> By: Seven Links Project: | My Bella Vita http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-19955 Seven Links Project: | My Bella Vita Fri, 27 Apr 2012 06:52:44 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-19955 [...] Most Controversial: Well, my 7 Posts predecessor said, “a travel site doesn’t get much more controversial than gelato flavors,” and she was right. I haven’t had too much controversy but I do think I offended a few people with my post, Italian Men Get Smarter with Age. [...] [...] Most Controversial: Well, my 7 Posts predecessor said, “a travel site doesn’t get much more controversial than gelato flavors,” and she was right. I haven’t had too much controversy but I do think I offended a few people with my post, Italian Men Get Smarter with Age. [...]

]]> By: Carol http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-19065 Carol Sat, 12 Nov 2011 20:07:52 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-19065 Just love all these remarks about how old and disgusting 70 is. 70 comes around faster than you think. Just love all these remarks about how old and disgusting 70 is. 70 comes around faster than you think.

]]> By: Marcia http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-18302 Marcia Fri, 22 Jul 2011 12:55:59 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-18302 Hmm, my experience recently has been that this happens via the internet (Facebook), as well as physically in real life! lol Hmm, my experience recently has been that this happens via the internet (Facebook), as well as physically in real life! lol

]]> By: Monica http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-11882 Monica Thu, 14 Jan 2010 15:42:02 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-11882 Cherrye, you said: «Monica! I just got in trouble for repeating this in the library!! ha ha» Oh, I can figure that out! Hahahaha! <strong><em>Ha! Yea, P was like "WHO are you talking to??"</em></strong> Cherrye, you said:
«Monica! I just got in trouble for repeating this in the library!! ha ha»
Oh, I can figure that out! Hahahaha!

Ha! Yea, P was like “WHO are you talking to??”

]]> By: Monica http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-11808 Monica Sat, 02 Jan 2010 11:57:52 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-11808 You said: "Now I just have to figure out how to say that – in a non-polite way – in Italian!" Wll, I guess "Tenga le mani a posto, oppure se le ficchi in quel posto!" :-) <strong><em>Monica! I just got in trouble for repeating this in the library!! ha ha</em></strong> .-= Monica´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LaDanzaDelCielo/~3/O7KR42Y6r20/on-stage-dettaglio.asp" rel="nofollow">Una Tigre con gli artigli spuntati</a> =-. You said: “Now I just have to figure out how to say that – in a non-polite way – in Italian!”

Wll, I guess “Tenga le mani a posto, oppure se le ficchi in quel posto!” :-)

Monica! I just got in trouble for repeating this in the library!! ha ha

.-= Monica´s last blog ..Una Tigre con gli artigli spuntati =-.

]]> By: Monica http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-11807 Monica Sat, 02 Jan 2010 11:48:23 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-11807 Hi Cherrye, I'm enjoying your blog! As this story concerns, I think you should have answered with a loud voice, so as other people around you could hear: "You are a kind old man, but please stop putting your hands on me, or I will call your nursing home!» I think this would have cooled his hot spirits! :-) Happily that younger Italian men are not any more like that! <strong><em>LOVE that, Monica! Will have to practice that for (if there is a) next time!</em></strong> .-= Monica´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LaDanzaDelCielo/~3/O7KR42Y6r20/on-stage-dettaglio.asp" rel="nofollow">Una Tigre con gli artigli spuntati</a> =-. Hi Cherrye,
I’m enjoying your blog! As this story concerns, I think you should have answered with a loud voice, so as other people around you could hear: “You are a kind old man, but please stop putting your hands on me, or I will call your nursing home!» I think this would have cooled his hot spirits! :-)
Happily that younger Italian men are not any more like that!

LOVE that, Monica! Will have to practice that for (if there is a) next time!

.-= Monica´s last blog ..Una Tigre con gli artigli spuntati =-.

]]> By: salina http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4979 salina Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:53:59 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4979 In 1993, when I worked in Italy (I was then 59), we American women were all advised that it was normal to be pinched by Italian men when on a train. We were told to just move and ignore it. I was and I did. In 2006 when I visted the Amalfi Coast the 40-ish, married owner of our rental apartment, within three minutes of our arrival, said to my much younger companion in perfect English, "I want to sleep with you". Since then on various travel sites, I have noticed that several people have commented on this phenomenon, particularly on the Amalfi Coast. I think the advice given is correct - ignore it and move, if possible. It's a game they play and, since Italian mothers have told their sons forever that they are handsome, charming, and can do no wrong at all, it is to be expected. The men in Ravello also sit around in the square, drinking small cups of very strong coffee and gossiping once or twice every day - I'll bet the subject of how many female tourists were approached is #1 or #2 on the list of things discussed. Think what they'd have to say if someone actually came through for them; I'm sure, with the many, many sales of "Under the Tuscan Sun", there are those who have! And to those women, you WILL have your 15 minutes of fame, over small cups of very strong coffee!   <strong><em>Ha. I wonder if it *is* worse along the Amalfi Coast ... that is interesting!! </em></strong>   In 1993, when I worked in Italy (I was then 59), we American women were all advised that it was normal to be pinched by Italian men when on a train. We were told to just move and ignore it. I was and I did. In 2006 when I visted the Amalfi Coast the 40-ish, married owner of our rental apartment, within three minutes of our arrival, said to my much younger companion in perfect English, “I want to sleep with you”. Since then on various travel sites, I have noticed that several people have commented on this phenomenon, particularly on the Amalfi Coast. I think the advice given is correct – ignore it and move, if possible. It’s a game they play and, since Italian mothers have told their sons forever that they are handsome, charming, and can do no wrong at all, it is to be expected. The men in Ravello also sit around in the square, drinking small cups of very strong coffee and gossiping once or twice every day – I’ll bet the subject of how many female tourists were approached is #1 or #2 on the list of things discussed. Think what they’d have to say if someone actually came through for them; I’m sure, with the many, many sales of “Under the Tuscan Sun”, there are those who have! And to those women, you WILL have your 15 minutes of fame, over small cups of very strong coffee!
 
Ha. I wonder if it *is* worse along the Amalfi Coast … that is interesting!!
 

]]> By: D. Reiser http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4756 D. Reiser Sat, 07 Feb 2009 23:41:59 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4756 I have to agree with Lupe, and call Kataroma out on Americentric/individualistic thinking (whether he/she is American or not). The guy just wanted to have sex with you, what's wrong with that? Women play hard to get all the time, and aggressive men often get what they want by refusing to take no for an answer... many women are actually aroused by such persistence. Non-American cultures don't place such a huge difference on age differences and aesthetic appearances. Sex is a lot more simple in other places, and people are much less threatened by the possibility of intercourse with a stranger. If you know what the typical sex life of an Italian woman was like, you'd experience a full-out Victorian shock. Your problem is that you sat there and let it continue. You should have left your seat.   <strong><em>You are right, I should not have let it continue and that *was* the biggest issue. However, I have to disagree when you say non-American cultures aren't interested in age differences or appearances. Italians I know think it is creepy for a 70-80 year old man to hit on a 30-year old girl in such an aggressive manner. He might have "just wanted to have sex with me," but I was obviously not reacting to his advances (and not in the flirty way that "says" I WANT IT. Also, I know many Italians who are *more* concerned with what someone looks like before he/she will date them than Americans are. </em></strong> I have to agree with Lupe, and call Kataroma out on Americentric/individualistic thinking (whether he/she is American or not). The guy just wanted to have sex with you, what’s wrong with that? Women play hard to get all the time, and aggressive men often get what they want by refusing to take no for an answer… many women are actually aroused by such persistence.

Non-American cultures don’t place such a huge difference on age differences and aesthetic appearances. Sex is a lot more simple in other places, and people are much less threatened by the possibility of intercourse with a stranger. If you know what the typical sex life of an Italian woman was like, you’d experience a full-out Victorian shock.

Your problem is that you sat there and let it continue. You should have left your seat.
 
You are right, I should not have let it continue and that *was* the biggest issue. However, I have to disagree when you say non-American cultures aren’t interested in age differences or appearances. Italians I know think it is creepy for a 70-80 year old man to hit on a 30-year old girl in such an aggressive manner. He might have “just wanted to have sex with me,” but I was obviously not reacting to his advances (and not in the flirty way that “says” I WANT IT. Also, I know many Italians who are *more* concerned with what someone looks like before he/she will date them than Americans are.

]]> By: Hillen http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4753 Hillen Sat, 07 Feb 2009 17:47:35 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4753 From a single man who is a young 60 and will be pushing 70 in the not too distant future and dates and prefers women 30-55, a 70 year old married man is most likely harmless and just flirting. Dont be so immature, uptight and prudish, broaden your horizons. Of course touching or getting in your space is unacceptable and just rude and deserves getting up and leaving. I thought that the European Italian women were more sophisticated than all this bashing of an old man....   <strong><em> Are you saying that I am not sophisticated because I don't want a man (at any age, as I've said in other comments) feeling me up on the bus? I think we might just have to agree to disagree here, because I don't think I am 1) immature 2) uptight or 3) prudish for not wanting a stranger to have his hands all over me when I am on the bus. It is my right to not want a man of any age to grab my ass for the better part of an hour because he wants to ... what? "Flirt?" Harmless flirting can be done with looks and words, there is no excuse for him to be all over me or any other woman who has said no. </em></strong> From a single man who is a young 60 and will be pushing 70 in the not too distant future and dates and prefers women 30-55, a 70 year old married man is most likely harmless and just flirting. Dont be so immature, uptight and prudish, broaden your horizons. Of course touching or getting in your space is unacceptable and just rude and deserves getting up and leaving.
I thought that the European Italian women were more sophisticated than all this bashing of an old man….
 
Are you saying that I am not sophisticated because I don’t want a man (at any age, as I’ve said in other comments) feeling me up on the bus? I think we might just have to agree to disagree here, because I don’t think I am 1) immature 2) uptight or 3) prudish for not wanting a stranger to have his hands all over me when I am on the bus. It is my right to not want a man of any age to grab my ass for the better part of an hour because he wants to … what? “Flirt?” Harmless flirting can be done with looks and words, there is no excuse for him to be all over me or any other woman who has said no.

]]> By: kataroma http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4636 kataroma Thu, 29 Jan 2009 11:41:30 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4636 lupe- oh right - so it's our job to just put up and shut up if an unattractive old man tries to grope us on a bus. I guess that's the only way YOU'RE ever going to get any...:) Anyway if that's how things go in "most cultures abroad" I look forward to travelling to countries outside the US (or hey maybe just staying here in Italy where I live!) when I'm in my 70s and groping young boys on public transport. Should be fun!:) Unfortunately, some Italian men seem to think that all foreign women are prostitutes. I've found that the only solution is to have a baby strapped to you at all times- having a baby completely changes the way Italian men treat you - now you're a 'signora' worthy of respect!   <strong><em>*So* funny you mention that some Italian men think all foreigners are prostitutes. I had this guy try to feel me up, then not realizing P was my husband, he asked him "about the little American girl who worked for him." Gah!!! </em></strong>   <abbr><em>kataroma’s last blog post..<a href="http://kataroma.blogspot.com/2009/01/solids.html" rel="nofollow">Solids!</a></em></abbr> lupe- oh right – so it’s our job to just put up and shut up if an unattractive old man tries to grope us on a bus. I guess that’s the only way YOU’RE ever going to get any…:) Anyway if that’s how things go in “most cultures abroad” I look forward to travelling to countries outside the US (or hey maybe just staying here in Italy where I live!) when I’m in my 70s and groping young boys on public transport. Should be fun!:)

Unfortunately, some Italian men seem to think that all foreign women are prostitutes. I’ve found that the only solution is to have a baby strapped to you at all times- having a baby completely changes the way Italian men treat you – now you’re a ‘signora’ worthy of respect!
 
*So* funny you mention that some Italian men think all foreigners are prostitutes. I had this guy try to feel me up, then not realizing P was my husband, he asked him “about the little American girl who worked for him.” Gah!!!
 
kataroma’s last blog post..Solids!

]]> By: lupe http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4534 lupe Mon, 19 Jan 2009 02:39:56 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4534 There's something wrong about you and it's your lack of understanding of foreign cultures. You do not understand the fact that most cultures abroad still accept old men dating, marrying or just hitting on younger women. Is this wrong? Of course not! It has been practiced for centuries and it's only recently that Americans and others are being brainwashed into believing that if you're 20, your partnet can't be older than 22. I have never been to Italy but most Latin American countries accept a big age difference between partners. It's not uncommon to see an average 45 year old man hitting on or being hit on by a pretty 18 year old girl. Women in these cultures look at men's qualities, not at their age.   <strong><em>Ciao Lupe. I'm interested to know if you are a young married women who has been groped on a bus for the better part of an hour even though you made it clear to your suitor that you weren't interested. I have never heard Americans say their partners can't be more than 2 years older than them. In fact, my own father is 22 years older than my mother - quite the opposite, I'd say. Additionally, I wouldn't have wanted an 18-year-old guy trying to get his fingers under my thigh any more than I wanted this guy, too. Regardless of his age, this man did not have qualities (read: respect for women) that I would be interested in, even if I wasn't happily married.</em></strong>   There’s something wrong about you and it’s your lack of understanding of foreign cultures. You do not understand the fact that most cultures abroad still accept old men dating, marrying or just hitting on younger women. Is this wrong? Of course not! It has been practiced for centuries and it’s only recently that Americans and others are being brainwashed into believing that if you’re 20, your partnet can’t be older than 22. I have never been to Italy but most Latin American countries accept a big age difference between partners. It’s not uncommon to see an average 45 year old man hitting on or being hit on by a pretty 18 year old girl. Women in these cultures look at men’s qualities, not at their age.
 
Ciao Lupe. I’m interested to know if you are a young married women who has been groped on a bus for the better part of an hour even though you made it clear to your suitor that you weren’t interested. I have never heard Americans say their partners can’t be more than 2 years older than them. In fact, my own father is 22 years older than my mother – quite the opposite, I’d say. Additionally, I wouldn’t have wanted an 18-year-old guy trying to get his fingers under my thigh any more than I wanted this guy, too. Regardless of his age, this man did not have qualities (read: respect for women) that I would be interested in, even if I wasn’t happily married.
 

]]> By: Vanessa http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4034 Vanessa Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:18:11 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4034 Gross, poor you, that happens to me too. I have had to become way less polite since living in italy! I've become v impatient and what I do now when men start that kind of behaviour i pretend i can't speak italian. Or speak really bad pidgin so they can't carry on the conversation. I also was watching an (italian) tv programme and a couple of women were being harassed by some men. They seemed to take it all in their stride and told the men they were policewomen going to a police conference and they backed off straight away. ha ha was v funny. Someone else I know said the first phrase she learnt in italian was 'leave me alone'. Kinda sad really.... Once while on my bike (bicycle) there was a man on a scooter following me. So i stopped, stared him in the eye and looked him up and down like he had been doing to me (he was old and gross looking), then got out my mobile phone and pretended like I was calling the cops. Yeah, he got outta there! Good luck in the future coz i don't think the old pervs will stop trying....   <strong><em>Ha! I love those ideas. You think they will believe I'm a cop on my way to a conference?!?</em></strong>   Gross, poor you, that happens to me too. I have had to become way less polite since living in italy!

I’ve become v impatient and what I do now when men start that kind of behaviour i pretend i can’t speak italian. Or speak really bad pidgin so they can’t carry on the conversation. I also was watching an (italian) tv programme and a couple of women were being harassed by some men. They seemed to take it all in their stride and told the men they were policewomen going to a police conference and they backed off straight away. ha ha was v funny. Someone else I know said the first phrase she learnt in italian was ‘leave me alone’. Kinda sad really….

Once while on my bike (bicycle) there was a man on a scooter following me. So i stopped, stared him in the eye and looked him up and down like he had been doing to me (he was old and gross looking), then got out my mobile phone and pretended like I was calling the cops. Yeah, he got outta there!

Good luck in the future coz i don’t think the old pervs will stop trying….
 
Ha! I love those ideas. You think they will believe I’m a cop on my way to a conference?!?
 

]]> By: City Girl http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4032 City Girl Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:29:59 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4032 Btw, I mean his comment to you is outrageous, NOT that your comment was outrageous. I really need to be more awake today :)   <strong><em>Ha! It is all good. I got it... :-)</em></strong>   <abbr><em>City Girl’s last blog post..<a href="http://citygirllifestyle.blogspot.com/2008/11/beauty-monday.html" rel="nofollow">Beauty Monday</a></em></abbr> Btw, I mean his comment to you is outrageous, NOT that your comment was outrageous. I really need to be more awake today :)
 
Ha! It is all good. I got it… :-)
 
City Girl’s last blog post..Beauty Monday

]]> By: City Girl http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4030 City Girl Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:43:26 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4030 How outrageous (responding to your comment to my comment)! Usually men back off when you mention a husband, but clearly this one was worse than usual. It sounds like you hate not beign polite, but this really seems like a situation where some not polite firmness was appropriate. And I agree with nyc/carribeean ragazza -- sometimes you just have to be more forceful - and frankly, any invasion of my personal space and i have no problem being very forceful about it. Flirting, I try to deflect semi-politely, but actual touching, I complain and complain until they leave me alone. One time this happened, someone else on the train who witnessed me getting my stuff and moving because of being intruded one was like "why are you making such a big deal, he's just flirting with you" and I turned to him and said "you want your sister or mother treated like this?" [he didn't have a wedding ring on] - next thing I knew he was shaming the guy who had bothered me and I made a hasty exit. LOLZ.   <strong><em>It is great you left the cabin in the train. I am kicking myself for being "so nice" and not getting up. I'd have been better off standing!</em></strong>   <abbr><em>City Girl’s last blog post..<a href="http://citygirllifestyle.blogspot.com/2008/11/beauty-monday.html" rel="nofollow">Beauty Monday</a></em></abbr> How outrageous (responding to your comment to my comment)! Usually men back off when you mention a husband, but clearly this one was worse than usual. It sounds like you hate not beign polite, but this really seems like a situation where some not polite firmness was appropriate. And I agree with nyc/carribeean ragazza — sometimes you just have to be more forceful – and frankly, any invasion of my personal space and i have no problem being very forceful about it. Flirting, I try to deflect semi-politely, but actual touching, I complain and complain until they leave me alone. One time this happened, someone else on the train who witnessed me getting my stuff and moving because of being intruded one was like “why are you making such a big deal, he’s just flirting with you” and I turned to him and said “you want your sister or mother treated like this?” [he didn't have a wedding ring on] – next thing I knew he was shaming the guy who had bothered me and I made a hasty exit. LOLZ.
 
It is great you left the cabin in the train. I am kicking myself for being “so nice” and not getting up. I’d have been better off standing!
 
City Girl’s last blog post..Beauty Monday

]]> By: nyc/carribbean ragazza http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4027 nyc/carribbean ragazza Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:30:47 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4027 make no eye contact. If someone is harmless but annoying I would tell them no thank you in a polite way. He might be 70 but Gramps clearly thinks he still has it going on. Unfortunately American women do have a rep for being easy, not just in Italy. If you only heard what Caribbean men say about us. Sometimes you will have to be a little more forceful so these men will understand you are not going to go to bed with them. Once someone starts invading my space that is not cool and I would let them know with strong language. If Gattuso had tried to pick me up on the bus, of course that is a different story. ha.   <strong><em>Ah yes ... Gattuso I could have handled. LOL</em></strong>   <abbr><em>nyc/carribbean ragazza’s last blog post..<a href="http://sistergirltales.blogspot.com/2008/11/get-your-parks-on-part-ii-doria.html" rel="nofollow">Get your parks on, part II – Doria Pamphili</a></em></abbr> make no eye contact.

If someone is harmless but annoying I would tell them no thank you in a polite way. He might be 70 but Gramps clearly thinks he still has it going on.

Unfortunately American women do have a rep for being easy, not just in Italy. If you only heard what Caribbean men say about us.

Sometimes you will have to be a little more forceful so these men will understand you are not going to go to bed with them. Once someone starts invading my space that is not cool and I would let them know with strong language.

If Gattuso had tried to pick me up on the bus, of course that is a different story. ha.
 
Ah yes … Gattuso I could have handled. LOL
 
nyc/carribbean ragazza’s last blog post..Get your parks on, part II – Doria Pamphili

]]> By: Carole D http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4025 Carole D Tue, 18 Nov 2008 03:48:56 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4025 I don't understand why they like to humiliate themselves by acting that way. They keep trying hoping that the woman will change her mind. Really, they're harmless, but, molto maleducati. Next time you travel alone make no eye contact and don't smile. A price you have to pay for being such a bella ragazza.   <strong><em>See... I always forget that no eye contact thing...</em></strong>   I don’t understand why they like to humiliate themselves by acting that way. They keep trying hoping that the woman will change her mind.
Really, they’re harmless, but, molto maleducati. Next time you travel alone make no eye contact and don’t smile.
A price you have to pay for being such a bella ragazza.
 
See… I always forget that no eye contact thing…
 

]]> By: Sierra http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4024 Sierra Tue, 18 Nov 2008 02:37:55 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4024 My experience is that strong words are needed to get guys like this to go away. It seems being polite spurs them on.   <strong><em>I agree. I was polite and was obviously sending those "leave me alone" signals!</em></strong>   My experience is that strong words are needed to get guys like this to go away. It seems being polite spurs them on.
 
I agree. I was polite and was obviously sending those “leave me alone” signals!
 

]]> By: City Girl http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4020 City Girl Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:13:10 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4020 I agree with Jean -- it is completely ok to ask to be left alone.   <strong><em>Now I just have to figure out how to say that - in a non-polite way - in Italian!</em></strong>   <abbr><em>City Girl’s last blog post..<a href="http://citygirllifestyle.blogspot.com/2008/11/cupcake-sunday.html" rel="nofollow">Cupcake Sunday</a></em></abbr> I agree with Jean — it is completely ok to ask to be left alone.
 
Now I just have to figure out how to say that – in a non-polite way – in Italian!
 
City Girl’s last blog post..Cupcake Sunday

]]> By: City Girl http://my-bellavita.com/2008/11/17/italian-men-smarter-age/comment-page-1/#comment-4018 City Girl Mon, 17 Nov 2008 20:49:20 +0000 http://my-bellavita.com/?p=1107#comment-4018 Sometimes, whatever you say, men like that will just not understand that you have zero interest in them. And, sadly, until you extract yourself from the situation (change cars on a train, hop off a bus etc) they won't get it. That said, I find it useful in a situation like that to basically inject your husband into every sentence. Like when he asked you to spend the day with him, the answer could be "my husband wouldn't appreciate that" or (even if it's not true since you were meeting your cousins) say something like your husband was joining you later.   <strong><em>I actually did say "I don't think my husband would like that." Know what he said?? "Well, he wouldn't. But would you??" GAH!!!</em></strong>   <abbr><em>City Girl’s last blog post..<a href="http://citygirllifestyle.blogspot.com/2008/11/cupcake-sunday.html" rel="nofollow">Cupcake Sunday</a></em></abbr> Sometimes, whatever you say, men like that will just not understand that you have zero interest in them. And, sadly, until you extract yourself from the situation (change cars on a train, hop off a bus etc) they won’t get it. That said, I find it useful in a situation like that to basically inject your husband into every sentence. Like when he asked you to spend the day with him, the answer could be “my husband wouldn’t appreciate that” or (even if it’s not true since you were meeting your cousins) say something like your husband was joining you later.
 
I actually did say “I don’t think my husband would like that.” Know what he said?? “Well, he wouldn’t. But would you??” GAH!!!
 
City Girl’s last blog post..Cupcake Sunday

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