One of my new favorite hobbies is going through my Stat Counter and Lijit reports and discovering which terms readers search to reach this blog. Popular terms include “Pasta Puttanesca Recipe,” “How Do You Eat a Persimmon” and “Things You Shouldn’t Say in Italy” – and we’ll get back to that in a minute.

It is an eye-opening experience, glimpsing into the mind of the average Italophile Internet-searcher, and it brings a certain responsibility that I refuse to take lightly.

So, you asked-or someone did!-and now I’ll answer. Here are five of the most interesting terms that were searched this week on My Bella Vita.

photo credit: Spencer E Holtaway

1. Che Cazzo Fa

See? I told you we’d get back to things you should say.

Che Cazzo Fa is literally translated as “What the …” wait, we’ve been over this. I’ve already warned you about this one.

2. You Dirty Pig in Italian

You dirty pig-or brutto porco-is yet another example of something you shouldn’t really say. I pressed my husband for details on this expression and his words to me, and thus to you, were, “Cherrye, you shouldn’t really say it. It is not very … classy.”

He did, however, admit that friends freely toss this term around when joking with each other.

3. Why Do Italians Say Ma Va

I almost fell out of my chair reading this because I instantly envisioned a young Italian-American struggling to decipher the words his grandmother muttered in moments of frustration as she walked around her kitchen table.

Seriously, can’t you see it?

She’s walking around the room, an over-sized moo-moo like dress hanging to her knees-in my vision it is white with tiny red and pink flowers-and she’s throwing her hands into the air in utter annoyance, muttering, “ma va …”

Ok. I’m back.

Anyway, dear Google searcher, your grandmother-yes, I’m still hung up on that-says ma va as a precursor to the granddaddy of Italian expressions, “ma vafaculo.”

And no. It isn’t nice to say.

4. Flirting with Italian Men

Interestingly enough, my blogging pal, Jessica of Why Go Italy recently wrote an article about impressing Italians. Her tips might help if you’re looking to date one or take him home to mamma. I’d also recommend you flirt unabashedly.

They do.

And you know … when in Rome.

5. Should I Sleep with an Italian Man

Seriously, I could not make this stuff up.

So, honey, if you re-Google this or come back here on the seemingly off-chance that I answered your question, you are in luck.

My initial thought was, “it works for me!”

But then I decided to go the more responsible route and reply with “get to know your partner and use a condom. Or just in case he doesn’t speak English … un preservativo!

Bloggers, have you had any funny search terms come up in your stats lately? Please share. And readers, feel free to leave a comment or question. This little post could turn into a series.