I was torn, albeit willingly, from the safety net that had cradled me most of my adult life-no, let’s be honest here, most of my life-and I was on the cusp of adulthood. (Yes, the observant reader will notice I gave away my age up there and that yes, most Americans are considered adults by the time they reach that ripe old age, however, I was subconsciously preparing myself for this southern Italian life that allows 30 year olds to be cared for and groomed into their 40s.)

But that wasn’t the only thing I should have prepared for.

“I’ve lived abroad,” I thought … “I’ve done the expat thing. How hard can this be?”

Cute, huh?

I look back on these naive thoughts with a smile and just a twinge of sadness for the girl who thought them.

That girl didn’t realize how hard it would be to be an ocean away from her favorite family traditions. She didn’t realize she’d yearn for her little nephew as if he were her own and she never thought of what it would be like to become a mother 6,000 miles away from her own.

That girl had a dad who was alive. A 95 year old great-great-grandfather who played the harmonica and went fishing. An otherwise healthy grandmother and cousins.

She had it all.

As I sit here tonight-the sing-song cry of a 4-month-old baby buzzing in the background-I think about these last five years, about sacrifices and gains … a new language, a new culture, a new family.

I look at my husband, a wee bit grayer than he was five years ago, as he struggles with the swaddle blanket, then rhythmically rocks and coos our now-bellowing baby in his arms. He marches up and down the hall and the cries become muffled whimpers as our sweet, normally mild-tempered bambino gives up the fight.

He gives me a “thank-God-that’s-over” grin … the same side-grin his son has inherited, as he sits on the edge of the bed and closes his eyes.

In this moment, I think not only of my sacrifices-although they were indeed immense and life-altering, but I am reminded of all that is good about this new path. My mind fills with images of how my life has been enriched by this Calabrian experience. How I’ve had the opportunity to start my own travel business and work side-by-side with my husband and best friend.

I think of the people I’ve met, my virtual and new real-life friends and I realize I had no choice.

Life is a nothing but a culmination of the choices we make, the paths we choose and the decisions on which we act and no, there is no turning back. So, if I could say one thing to that naive, starry-eyed Texan who boarded that Continental Airlines flight to Rome five years ago today, I’d say this …

Embrace your new Italian life …

Tell your parents how much you miss them …

and for God’s sake, girl, don’t eat the airplane pasta. There’s much more of that to be had, on the other side of the pond.

Want to make some of your own Calabrian memories? Click here to see how I can help you plan your trip or sign up for the Calabrian Table Tour this fall.

Photo: Thumbnail photo by Calabria Mia Show

Related posts:

1. The Business of Being Born in Calabria As many of you know, I recently found...

Tuesday was eight weeks since our little Max-just Max, no longer name, no middle name … just Max-was born in the Ospedale Pugliese in downtown Catanzaro. He was five-or six, my doctor now thinks-weeks early and noooo, we weren’t ready for his big debut.

However, the adventure really began two days earlier, on Saturday, December 18 when “I broke my waters,” as my husband told my mom and I was admitted into the hospital. Although we were taking a childbirth class, we had only completed about half of them and I had yet to tour the pale green corridor of rooms and baths that would be my home for the next five days.

Saturday night was a whirlwind of sights, sounds and emotions as I checked into the hospital and was pulled like a spoiled child in a candy store from my husband. “No boys allowed,” they told me at the entrance. “Say your goodbyes here.”

Gulp.

So, I crept through the darkened hallway-it was near midnight by this time-and was given a bed near the wall. The next two days I pulled around an IV that slowed my labor and spent most of my time chatting with the five other girls in my room. My husband was allowed in a couple of times a day during visiting hours and if I’d had a mother, sister or female friend around, she’d have been allowed to stay the night.

After lunch on Monday, the 20th, they removed my IV and told me they’d induce the next morning. I told my husband to go home and promised to call as things progressed. Around 1:00 AM that night I started having contractions and even though I’d have preferred to be in a private room surrounded by my family-or at least in this case, my husband-I walked the halls of Catanzaro’s maternity ward.

For the next hour and a half I rotated between the hallway and my room and bounced between a jolly, dark-haired nurse and my cell mates. Some of the girls and their mammas woke up and took turns rubbing my back. (We also played a game of robe-on/robe-off … meaning, I’d throw it off, they’d put it back on me … a dance that continued until I left the room.)

The hospital in Catanzaro doesn’t offer epidurals, so I’d planned to hire a private doctor to be there … just in case and I’d planned to take some of my doctor’s magical homeopathic medicine to prepare for labor and delivery. Both of these were planned for the following week, an irony that did not escape me, even in the throes of labor and the uncertainty of what was to come.

At 2:30 AM, the nurse told me to call my husband and led me across the hall to the labor/delivery room. Ten minutes and two mamma-mia-of-all-contractions later I was introduced to the bubbly, curly-haired OB nurse who would deliver Max.

She did a quick exam, told me Max was ready to be born and grabbed a clipboard and pen.

“Can you spell your name for me?” She asked ….

“What are you doing in Catanzaro?” Her assistant wanted to know …

“What is the highest level of education you received?” … again from the nurse …

“What about your husband?”

“I studied English in school,” the assistant said. I’d love to visit America …

“What is his job?” The inquisition continued …

“What do you do?”

“I’m a writer,” I told her between breaths, wondering how much more she could possibly need to know to deliver my child.

“A writer!” They both said, surprised.

The nurse put the clipboard on the table … “What do you write?”

Seriously?

“I feel like I should push now,” I told her, bringing the attention back to, uhm … me.

“It’s ok,” she said, as she stayed happily planted up near my nose. “Go ahead and push.”

“But my husband isn’t here.” I told her, wondering what was taking so long.

“He’ll be here,” she said. “Don’t worry.”

A few minutes later he did, indeed, show up, wearing a cute little green paper gown, shoe covers and matching hat. (You should realize that I was instructed to pack a white gown I could deliver in, but my husband’s “daddy attire” was provided by the hospital.)

I remember him being introduced to the nurse and her assistant, who realized they all grew up in the same neighborhood. He took over answering the remaining questions … someone else walked in and asked me to sign something … and about 30 minutes later-at 3:23 AM-Max was born.

About 10 seconds after that, my doctor walked in.

My husband and I got to hold Max and spend what seemed like a few minutes with him before they took him to NICU. My husband got to stay another hour with me, then I was rolled back across the hall into my room.

The next day it was business as usual and my husband was, once again, only allowed in during visiting hours. Our experience with NICU is a post in itself but suffice it to say that we all eventually made it home and we are settling into some semblance of a routine.

If you’ve had a hospital experience in Italy, I’d love to hear about it. Write about your experience in the comments!

Speaking of new moms, dads and getting settled, I’d like to wish a very special Buon Viaggio to my friend, Stephanie and her husband who, after waiting for this day for over a decade, are leaving today for China, where they will meet their new daughter, Andi, and bring her back to Texas. I’m over-the-moon-excited for you both and I hope you enjoy parenthood as much as we do.

Traveling to southern Italy with your kiddos? Click here to see how I can help you plan your trip.

More and more people are choosing to travel to Calabria, which is a good thing for those of us in the tourism industry. They read our sites, maybe book a room at our B&B … they might even buy the eguide full of Calabria travel tips … then, they ignore us.

Sadly, this summer, my husband and I have seen couple after couple come through Catanzaro, visit our B&B, then ruin their vacation.

How? They refused to rent a car.

Many of these couples emailed and asked about transportation options before they arrived-and every single time, we recommended they rent a car. Yet, they arrived, bright-eyed and ready for their Calabrian adventures without a rental.

It was heartbreaking.

Why? Because you won’t see the best of Calabria without a car.

Lest you think I’m lying, let me repeat.

You won’t see the best of Calabria without a car.

This is one of the main tips in my ebook, I stress this point to all of my travel consulting clients and mentioned it in my interview with the Eye on Italy Podcast team. This sentiment was even echoed by my fellow expat-in-Calabria blogger, Michelle in her interview with About.com … and for the record, I mentioned it there, too.

The thing is, I understand why some people are wary of driving in southern Italy. They’ve heard of high-winding roads and fast-driving Italians, Carabinieri stops and traffic jams, illegible traffic signs and frustrating road construction.

But let me tell you. Nothing is as frustrating as finally arriving in bella Calabria, then being imprisoned inside your B&B or being limited to a five-block neighborhood for entertainment and meals.

In fact, we’ve seen this happen so many times that we are considering not taking reservations for people who don’t rent a car. Sound tough?

Maybe.

But we take a personal interest in guests who visit our B&B and when they aren’t having a good time, we know it-and we know that taints their judgment and their opinion of Calabria and our bed and breakfast.

When you are in Calabria, you’ll want to be free to explore the ruins near Roccelletta, visit the medieval towns of Gerace and Stilo, take a self-guided tour of Le Castella. All of these things would be hard, if not impossible, to do without the freedom of a rental car.

So, please. If you are traveling to Calabria and don’t want to risk ruining your trip, listen to this.

Rent a car.

Oh, please. Rent a car.

I’m curious what people in other parts of Italy think about car rental vs. public transport. Weigh in, won’t you?

Traveling south? Click here to see how I can help you plan your trip to Calabria or southern Italy.

Photo: Global Jet via Flickr

Ahhh … it is here. The day we’ve waited for … longed for … dreamed about.

It is World Nutella Day 2010, so let me be one of the first people to say “Auguri,” and welcome you to the party.

Those of you who know me well, know I’m an avid party planner. I don’t wait until the last minute and I like to make sure all of my i’s are crossed and t’s are dotted.

Or something like that.

In fact, I started planning for Nutella Day back in December, when I created American-inspired dessert trays for my Italian friends and family. There were Rice Krispie trees. There were sugar cookie santas. And there were Nutella-filled powder cookies.

And they were good.

Unfortunately, you are just gonna have to take my word for it, because yesterday, when this highly organized, slightly anal-retentive planner went to write this post,  she (who also talks about herself in third person when she’s made a mistake) realized all of the pictures-every. single. one of them-was out of focus.

So I did what any hard-headed, Nutella-lovin’ girl would do … I cried to my husband.

And he came through.

For World Nutella Day 2010, I present you with my husband’s very own …

Orange Nutella Breakfast Cake

(Served to our bed and breakfast guests on World Nutella Day)

Ingredients:
>> 3/4 cup sugar
>> 1 cup all-purpose flour
>> 2 teaspoons baking powder
>> 3 eggs
>> 1/4 cup butter
>> Freshly squeezed juice from 3 large oranges
>> Nutella (depending on your tastes)

Directions:

1. Beat the eggs and sugar until peaks form.

2. Add the orange juice and continue mixing.

3. Slowly add the butter, flour and finally the baking powder, mixing well between each ingredient.

4. Bake in the over at 350° for 30 minutes.

5. Allow to cool for about 10 minutes.

6. Generously spread warmed nutella over the top of the cake.

7. Cut. Serve. Devour.

Buon Appetito!

By the way, you can also read about how we are celebrating World Nutella Day at our bed and breakfast today. In addition to the cake, of course.

Auguri, Nutellaphiles and thank you Sara and Michelle for another great year!

Whoever chose December-the final month of the year-as the time to celebrate the holidays, buy and wrap presents and cook for family and friends probably didn’t own their own business-and relaunch their website during the week of Italy’s first festa of the holiday season.

I’m just saying … the holidays could come at a better time of the year.

Photo: Viktor Kaposi

Oh, but who I am to Scrooge-up your holiday season? Forget about end-of-the-year invoicing, new year’s goals and the most generous of all holiday gifts-taxes.

The holidays have arrived, and that, in conjunction with the My Bella Vita relaunch, is why we’re giving away ItalianPod101 lessons, an 8X10 Italy photo of your choice and a free one-day custom itinerary.

Last week I asked my husband how he planned to contribute to the new site’s relaunch.

His response?

“I have an old pair of shoes!”

I mean, if you are into the shoes, then come on over and get them. Please.

Otherwise, read on.

THE FINAL MY  BELLA VITA RELAUNCH GIVEAWAY:

A romantic weekend for two at Il Cedro Bed and Breakfast in Catanzaro, Italy and a Taste of Calabria welcome basket, complete with Calabrian specialties of the season and drinks.*

See details below. And now, on with the column …

With Christmas breathing down my neck and an international trip on the horizon, I’m lucky to find 20 minutes a day for my Mari Winsor Pilates. And in keeping with the good-will of the season and the new FTC rules for bloggers-I don’t get money if you click on that link.

Wink. Wink.

Speaking of time-consuming projects that pay, I was recently asked to update the Southern Italy section for DK Eyewitness Guide, Italy 2011. I’m thrilled with the gig and anxious to learn even more about my adopted area of the bel paese.

In keeping with the Calabria travel writer theme, Lara Dunston, travel writer extraordinaire recently asked her blog readers to share their worst hotel experience. Her post was prompted by a recent stay at a five-star hotel** where she and her husband returned to their room on their first night to find urine-soaked sheets and comforter. (Gah!)

photo credit: karpov the wrecked train

People responded to her call for worst hotel experiences.

Erica of Travel Blissful reported smoky rooms that lack hotel-room essentials, Tess of Luxury Beach Escapes spoke of language mishaps-in a perfectly normal and charming way-and Mary Jo of Suzhou Mojo told of having a man sleep on her balcony and a literal hole-in-the-wall of the bathroom that led into the hallway.

And their stories got me thinking.

As bed and breakfast owners, my husband and I focus on the details of the guest experience and do everything in our power to make it positive. But some hotels don’t.

My worst hotel experience was at a bed and breakfast in the mountains of Calabria my husband and I chose for a weekend getaway. The room was musty, dusty and rusty, the towels were paper thin and tearing at the seams and the bathroom was tiny-even by Italian standards. Instead of a king-size bed, they’d pushed two twins together forcing us to sleep separately-newlyweds that we were-or fall into the crack between the beds.

The room was icy cold and they only offered housekeeping if you left your keys with them, a fact they didn’t tell us when we checked in.

However, it wasn’t a horrible experience because we spent time walking through the mountain trails, warming up by the fireplace in the sitting room and eating at the hotel’s surprisingly fabulous restaurant. I’m curious about your worst hotel experiences …

But now back to that giveaway!

There are five ways you can enter the drawing to win the romantic weekend at Il Cedro Bed and Breakfast and Taste of Calabria welcome basket.

1. Leave a comment on this post detailing your worst hotel experience.

2. Retweet this post. Be sure to include “@mybellavita” so I’ll see your tweet.

3. Subscribe to my RSS (either in a reader or via email) and leave me a comment telling me you are a new subscriber.

4. Post this on Facebook and either leave a comment on the My Bella Vita Facebook page or tell me in the comments.

5. If you do all four, you’ll receive a bonus entry-just for kicks!

Contest ends Thursday, December 17 at 5:00 PM, Italy time. Winner will be selected in a random drawing.

In bocca al lupo and Happy Holidays!

* The fine print: The romantic weekend at Il Cedro B&B is based on availability and must be booked within one year of notification. There are no refunds and prize can not be combined with other offers or promotions. The Taste of Calabria welcome basket accompanies the room nights and can not be shipped separately.

** The hotel pictured is NOT the hotel where Lara and her husband found yellow sheets!

American tourists often get a bad rap. We are stereotyped as being loud, single-language slobs who are demanding, obnoxious and egocentric.

And sometimes they are right.

For a long time I’ve wanted to write a post about American tourists in Calabria and how 95% of the time, they bust that stereotype wide open. Then, a group of Americans will visit us who fit that mold and make me rethink the idea of the great American traveler.

After two years of running our B&B in Calabria, both my Italian husband and I think American guests rock. In general, they are most respectful, the most gracious and the most grateful guests who pass through our doors-and we love them.

In honor of Thanksgiving week, I present to you my non-ode-because I can’t write poetry-to American Tourists. Here are 10 reasons why we love you, American Tourists in Calabria.

We love you for …

- the nervous emails you send while planning your trip

- how we often feel like we know you, before you’ve ever stepped foot in the bel paese

- how you offer to bring little reminders of home, whether it is a new coffee press, Ziploc bags or English-language books

- the glimmer in your eye as you explore Calabria

- the excitement that radiates from you as you tell us about your journey

- how you marvel at every little thing you see and think each place you visit is better than the last

- how you aren’t afraid to try new things or eat unidentified dishes

- appreciating the locals and respecting their way of life

- respecting us, our bed and breakfast and the other guests you meet here

But most of all, American Tourists, we love you for loving Calabria, for appreciating her rugged beauty and timeless charm and for leaving us like you found us. We are just a little bit better off for having met you.

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

As a Calabria B&B owner, I’ve seen my fair share of guests – some, wonderfully charming as they are become like family and our days are a little dimmer when they’ve gone. Others … eh, not so much.

You might feel the urge to chalk that up to personality preferences, but you’d be wrong. We love 95% of the guests who frequent our bed and breakfast … and I’m not just saying that in case they are reading.

(But if you are … hi!)

Regardless of their personality, be it outgoing, serious, shy, funny, we love having them around and over the years we’ve established strong relationships with many of our loyal guests. Sometimes they join us for a night out, sometimes we meet up with them when we are traveling to their home cities and other times we connect on Facebook or through email.

But sometimes a lasting connection is not in cards.

If you want to guarantee your next B&B vacation ends with the hosts counting down the minutes and shuffling you out the door, here’s what you do.

photo credit: Quinn Dombrowski

Steal Liquor From their Kitchen

Last summer we had a larger-than-life guest visit us from Prague-she was beautiful, outgoing and sassy. And she brought us liquor. Two bottles, in fact.

Last week I offered this Czech specialty to some friends who had stopped by to visit. I reached in the freezer and low-and-behold-it was gone.

That’s just not cool.

Don’t Check-in on Time

True B&Bs are family-owned businesses that are generally staffed by two or three people. For this reason, they set limitations on check-in times-usually from 3:00 – 7:oo or 8:00 at night. I’ve seen B&Bs refuse to accept guests who can’t make their check-in time. While we aren’t that strict, we do appreciate guests who either make an effort to meet our check-in time (8:00 PM) or who notify us in advance so we can be prepared.

Loyal guests who continually abuse our flexibility and check in after 9:00, 10:00, even 11:00 at night aren’t my favorite Facebook friends.

Break Something … and don’t tell them

Yes, yes, accidents happen, people drop things, wine glasses break. I get that and B&Bs owners know these things will happen. But if you really want your B&B to hate you, break something … I mean, let it shatter into hundreds of tiny, glass pieces, mix in some soap or shampoo, and don’t tell them.

Ha ha ha ha ha … just imagine how funny it will be when they walk in to clean your room and slide on the glass-infested suds you’ve left for them. Ha ha ha ha!!!

Make a Mess

To really put your B&B owners over the top, all you have to do is make a mess-not in the soap sud scenario described above-bur rather, in common areas and better yet, during the night when they are sleeping.

To help cater to our guests’ needs, we offer use of the B&B kitchen, to eat takeout, store snacks or sip wine with friends. If you want to take advantage of something like this-and not in the good way-then be sure you stain the tablecloth, don’t rinse your dishes and leave your plastic cups and napkins tossed on the floor so they can pick them up before the other guests arrive for breakfast.

So, are you ready to go out and make some enemies with the B&Bs in your travel future? What other things do you think you can do to get on that do-not-admit list?

I have high standards.

I expect good customer service. A welcoming smile. A polite thank you.

Even in the US, I get riled up with businesses who lack accountability, who take their customers for granted, who act like they don’t give a damn. Here in Italy, I get riled rather often.

This really could be an (insert large number here) series on Customer Service in Calabria, but since I like to keep things bella here at My Bella Vita, we’ll keep this short and sweet.

I am heartbroken.

Our former favorite pizzeria, which I have written about both here and for my new gig at EasyJet Airlines wielded the blow and I just can’t, for the life of me, understand why businesses don’t care about their customers.

A few weeks ago my husband and I gathered a group of friends and asked them to join us at our favorite pizza place, da Ciro, in Catanzaro Lido. Our American friends were in town, we had another expat in tow, and a few of my husband’s cousins who hate this pizzeria.

Waiting is to be expected on a Saturday night, so we weren’t surprised when we arrived and found a crowded restaurant.

“We’ll wait outside so we don’t disturb you and your other clients,” my husband told them.

And we did.

We waited. And waited. And waited.

We watched while they seated another group-who had arrived after us-and we waited some more.

After an hour and a half, a large group of teenagers arrived and stood in the middle of the restaurant until they were seated.

My husband asked the waiter, the owner’s son-in-law, about the table.

“They were here before you,” the man told him.

“No, they weren’t,” my husband told him. “We’ve been waiting outside.”

“Well,” the man said, becoming defensive, “I’m working here. I can’t keep up with who gets here first.”

The owner walked by to listen to their conversation and continued to her seat without intervening.

There were small tables vacant and we assumed they’d push them together and offer us a seat.

We waited five more minutes. When no tables were combined or apologizes offered, we left.

And I won’t go back.

The worst part of this is that da Ciro Pizzeria isn’t alone.

Our B&B guests report incidents that are almost impossible to believe.

Apparently, there is a bed and breakfast in Catanzaro Lido that refused to serve breakfast to their guests because they were only staying one night. Another nearby bed and breakfast doesn’t offer breakfast at all. Another one charges guests for water.

Will someone explain this to me, in basic terms, as if I was a child? How do businesses operate with such lousy service and live to tell the tales?

Photo courtesy of Matchstic Blog

On an average, I’d say my husband and I get 10-12 emails a month from English-speaking guests asking about our bed and breakfast in Catanzaro. And nine times out of 10, I’m the one who responds.

Most of these would-be guests are interested in visiting Catanzaro because their family tree has branches here in Calabria and oh, I’d say two times out of 10, I know the village they are asking about.

Well a few months ago, I responded to a Mississippi woman now living in Colorado who wanted to celebrate her husband’s 50th birthday near his grandfather’s village … in San Fili.

Now for many people San Fili is just like any other southern Italian mountain village. There are about 2,000 people or so currently living there-and one stop light. Maybe two.

But what was interesting to me is that my husband’s mother was also from San Fili.

That evening I told him about the coincidence.

“What was your grandmother’s last name, by the way?” I asked him, still excited about this small-town connection.

“Cesario,” he said. Pronounced “chay sarr eo.”

“Uhm.” I thought about it for a second and ran to my laptop. “Is it spelled C-E-S-A-R-I-O?” I asked.

“Yea,” he said. “Why?”

Because it was the same name!

Our would-be guests who hoped to visit in the spring had ancestors from San Fili and shared a last name with my husband’s grandmother.

How exciting.

I immediately emailed them back with the news and we exchanged several emails over the next few months.

Finally, they arrived.

And they were wonderful.

While a true familial connection could never be traced, we are fairly confident that my husband’s American cousins paid us a visit.

We were also lucky that week to have a fun father-daughter team visiting from Australia. So, in true Calabrian-style. We all went out for dinner.

And gelato.

In other San Fili news, we have a house for sale there. If you are interested in a cozy, three-floor house in an ancient southern Italian mountain village … let me know.

 
For the last few weeks I’ve been writing a post in my head about the things I most love about the Internet’s favorite meeting spot. It’s got classic colors, fun applications, I’ve even gotten used to the new format.
 
But then something happened to make me question that. Something that put a little tint on my Facebook fantasy. Well, luckily I’m over that and back in love. But just for kicks, here’s my pro/con list of five things I love-and one thing I hate-about Facebook.
 

Are you on FB? Wanna be friends?

 
I love Facebook because …
 
1. it’s reconnected me with old friends.
 
Ok, so this was a given. If you know anything about Facebook you, too, know this. Let’s move along.
 
2. it has introduced me to new people.
 
And not only the random, creepy kind. I’ve been “introduced” to dozens of new people on Facebook via my real life friends who think we’d have something in common-whether it be cooking, Italy, travel or two people just looking for a laugh.
 
3. it has done for social media what Audrey Hepburn did for the little black dress
 
Or maybe it was what the little black dress did for Audrey? Either way, Facebook has exploded the world of Social Media and introduced it to thousands of people who wouldn’t normally have engaged in social media-type communication.
 
I use Twitter and follow many blogs through their RSS Feeds, but Facebook brings it together for me. When I don’t have time to get to my favorite blogs, which is becoming a sad habit, I can find their latest posts on Facebook.
 
4. it is great for business
 
The last few weeks we have had some fantastic guests at our bed and breakfast. While we’d love to stay in contact with them, we all know we would lose touch and stop emailing on a regular basis. This is where Facebook comes in. You add them, they add you and instead of worrying about sending lengthy emails, you can stay in touch with a few lines or a “thumbs up.”
 
I also love that you can create a fan page, like I did for My Bella Vita and easily stay in touch with your most loyal readers.
 
5. because you gotta love a place where brevity is king.
 
Ok, so you can use more than 140 characters to make your point, but Facebook rocks because you can have short bursts of conversations with people without having to send a full-length email. Just this week I commented on an update from one of my oldest friends, she quickly replied and that was it. It was nice. She knows I’m alive and I know she is taking her kids to the zoo. Or was it the circus? Mah …
 

 
Even the best of things aren’t without their faults and so it is with my friend Facebook.
 
Here is one reason I hate, or rather, don’t love (hate is such a strong word!) Facebook.
 
1. Because sometimes you see something you wish you hadn’t seen.
 
One of the worst things about living a few times zones from your family is that things go on during their day that take place during your middle-of-the-night. Without thinking they might post something on Facebook that everyone around them already knows, but that you have yet to be let in on.
 
Confused?
 
Ok. This weekend, I woke up and played around on Facebook for a few minutes. Wondering what a particular member of my family had been up to, I clicked to her page and read something along the lines of “I’m so sick of getting bad news.”
 
If you pay attention to Facebook, you know multiple comments get compressed and you can only read the first and last message. The last comment read, “I’m sorry to hear your uncle died … can I do anything?”
 
Gulp. WTF?
 
Yea. Bad day.
 
Anyway, things are smoothed over and I forgive this family member for momentarily forgetting that I could read her message on Facebook before they had a chance to call me … but it wasn’t a good start to my sunny Saturday.
 
So there you have it. My top five reasons to love Facebook. Are you on Facebook? What are your favorite reasons to use it and how do you try to use it responsibly?
 
Buon Weekend!
 
 

Some of my best ideas come from readers, commenters and blog-surfers who somehow land on my website and use the contact message form for what it was meant to be-as opposed to the “FXGL-Hey lady, you want some Viagra?” type messages I sometimes receive. You ask me a question, send me an idea or as in the case of today’s blog post-you do both.

I recently received a contact form message from a fellow Texan I met while working at my Alma Mater. Here is what she said …

Cherrye,

I’m getting my house ready for company this weekend and was thinking about what I could have in the guest room to make them feel more comfortable.  A chair, travel-size toiletries, snacks, etc … .

Anyway, I figured if anyone would know these things, it would be a B&B owner. So, if you’re ever looking for something to write about, I’d be interested to hear your suggestions!

And what a great idea.

While it isn’t very often someone remodels an old home and opens a bed and breakfast, many people do have overnight or weekend company on a regular basis. And you want it to be special. You want it to be memorable. You want to be a fabulous host.

photo credit: La Villa Bonita Mexican Culinary Vacation

Am I right?

Then, here’s what can you do get your house guest-ready.

- While this may seem obvious, it is important to give the room a thorough cleaning. Vacuum or mop, dust the window seals and clean the bathroom. A clean space is the foundation for your guest room.

- Clean out your closets and make space for them to hang or store their clothes. They’ll appreciate the gesture and it will show you really want to share your space with them.

- Place an extra blanket and pillow on their bed (that you’ve made with fresh, clean sheets) or store them in the closet.

- Stock the guest bathroom with soft, fluffy towels and plenty of toilet paper.

photo credit: PlayfulLibrarian

- Place a small basket of toiletries in the bathroom for them to use. This doesn’t have to be expensive-use travel sized toiletries or even sample-sized packets. The gesture is what matters.

- Buy something special for them. My aunt, a non-coffee drinker, always stocks up on Dunkin Donuts coffee for my sister and me and ice cream sandwiches for my nephew. In return, we buy Diet Coke when she visits. The first time my Italian husband visited me in the states, I bought a collection of Italian-language magazines so he could easily escape into his language when he needed to. Think about what your guests enjoy and buy something just for them.

- Before they arrive, light a candle, place fresh flowers or spray a soft scented air freshener in their room and adjust the lighting to create a homey, romantic atmosphere.

- Fill a welcome basket for your guests with a personalized note. Here are some ideas for your welcome basket …

* For someone who knows the area well, consider including a collection of their favorite snacks, magazines, napkins and bottled water.

* If a couple is visiting, considering offering them a bottle of wine, two wine glasses and a cork or a box of chocolates.

* For someone new to the area, include local delicacies and a souvenir from the city or state.

* If your guests will have “free time” while you are at work, include a map of the area, a list of important attractions and a bus or Metro schedule. If your budget allows, consider offering them a small gift certificate to one of the local attractions, restaurants or cafes.

What other tips do you have to transform your home into a mini B&B Guest Room? What are some of the favorite things you have done or seen?

 
Today is Earth Day 2009, a day set aside for us to appreciate our environment and although the Going Green movement has picked up in recent years, honoring our earth is nothing new.
 

 
Today’s Earth Day celebration marks the 39th anniversary of its conception and an anticipated 500 million people and governments in 175 different countries are expected to participate.
 
I know we are.
 
For a long time, my husband and I have discussed how our bed and breakfast can Go Green. But according to an online article in USATODAY.com’s travel section, it’s not easy. Grossman lists ways the travel industry can do its part to help the environment and we are taking many of his tips to heart.
 
We have already reduced energy with our washing and drying techniques and only turn on outside lights at dusk when we have guests. The ceiling fans are deactivated during the winter months so guests don’t inadvertently leave them on throughout the day. Heating units are turned off when the room is vacant.
 
As of today, Il Cedro Bed and Breakfast will:
 
- Have a separate recycle container available for guests.
 
- Place Going Green cards in each of our rooms, asking guests to indicate if and when they need new linens.
 
We are in the process of installing energy efficient light bulbs and shopping for non-toxic cleaners.
 
It feels good to Go Green and we are constantly searching for new ways we can help the environment. If you are looking for ways you can help, check out Bleeding Espresso’s Going Green series where she offers tips, suggestions and advice for people wanting to Go Green.
 
Have you visited a hotel or B&B that has Gone Green? What did they do? What tips can you share with us to help Il Cedro Get Green?
 
Happy Earth Day!
 

 
There is no shortage of information on how to save money when you travel, how to choose the best  B&B or even how to haggle for a better priced vacation.
 
But I’m not so sure this topic is out there.
 
For a long time I’ve debated on whether I should write a post on how to be a better B&B guest.
 
After completing our first full year as B&B owners, my husband and I know there are certain things that make someone the type of guest we love and then there are … well, the others. We’ve been lucky and 99% of our guests have been fabulous.
 

photo credit: eva101

 
So do you want to be in the top 99 percentile of most popular guests the next time you stay at a bed and breakfast? Then, listen up!
 
First, here are a few things to remember about B&Bs.
 
- They are usually a family-owned business, where the one or two-person team is responsible for check-ins, check-outs, structural upkeep, marketing, cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, shopping … you get the point.
 
- They will likely have a maximum check-in time. For example, our check-in time is from 3:00-9:00 PM. We happily accommodate late check-ins, like the professor whose train was delayed last week and who didn’t arrive until midnight. That isn’t her fault … and we still love her.
 
- Because B&Bs are a small business they can often be more accommodating with breakfast or check-out times. So don’t be afraid to ask.
 
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
 
Most of the following tips boil down to one little word Aretha has been singing about since the 60s … respect.
 

photo credit: Ajda Gregor?i?

 
* Last week we had an Italian guest request an early breakfast. Instead of showing up at 7:00 AM (like she requested) she arrived between 8:00-8:30 each morning.
 
This is a sure-fire way to get on our bad guest list. We are happy to be flexible and offer our guests the benefit of an early breakfast – which most hotels wouldn’t do – but we are busy and that is just disrespectful.
 
* Our entire structure is smoke-free. When guests stand in the bathrooms and smoke – we know about it. And they, too, go on the list!
 
* No shows are more detrimental to a bed and breakfast than to a hotel. For one thing, B&Bs are limited in the number and types of rooms they offer. For example, we only have one triple room. If someone books that room, we have to turn other guests away. If that same person doesn’t show up, we’ve not only lost their business, but we’ve likely lost future business with the guests we couldn’t accommodate.
 
Also, remember there isn’t a staff member working throughout the night – it is the B&B owner. We’ve missed important events because we had a check-in who never showed up.
 
* Phone calls in Italy – even local calls from a land line – are not free. When guests take it upon themselves to borrow our phone, we lose money. I’d like to point out that Italian guests know this. We happily make phone calls for English-speaking guests (often making the calls ourselves to help with language barrier) and this is another thing entirely. Self-sufficient, Italian-speaking guests who know phone calls aren’t free, shouldn’t use our phones.
 
All four of these tips on being a better guest reflect a general respect for the B&B owners. Many of us got into this business because we love people. We love travelers. We want to help vacationers who visit our area. It is when guests take advantage of our openness and generosity that things turn icky.
 
And nobody wants icky now, do they?
 
Have you ever seen inappropriate behavior at a B&B or hotel? What happened? What other ways do you think people can be better B&B guests?
 

 
It’s Christmas time and Il Cedro Bed and Breakfast is decked and donned and full of holiday cheer.
 
See?
 

The office …

and the kitchen …

 
It is delightful – just the way my home was back in Texas.
 
But things are different here.
 
As you might expect – or might not if you are as naive as me - Italy does things a little differently at Christmastime.
 
Today I present to you Part One of a four-part series on Celebrating Christmas in Italy*.
 
Since Italians refuse to actively celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday which propels Americans into the Christmas holiday season, they normally don’t decorate their homes until after the Immacolata on December 8. (Don’t worry, I’ll tell you about that next week!)
 
Christmas trees have gained popularity over the years, but the nativity scene, or presepe, is the traditional decoration of choice. There is no shortage of shops selling them, either. They range in price from €10 to hundreds of euros, depending on the size and brand. Many of them are collectibles that can be passed through the generations.
 

photo credit: firing_tower

 
Last week I told my husband that I wanted to start our nativity scene collection.
 
“We should buy one or two pieces this year, then add to it every year,” I told him.
 
Blank look.
 
“I am thinking it will be around €50 per piece. Where is the best place to get them?”
 
Confused look. Then, “Well, why don’t we go ahead and buy the whole thing? We can get a whole set for way less than €50 at the store by our house.”
 
“The store by our house?” I asked him … shocked. “You mean the casalinga store?” (Casalinga stores are similar to luxury dollar stores back in the states.)
 
“Uhm … uhm …” he was getting nervous. “I guess you wanted to get a better one, huh?”
 
Smart man, that Italian!
 
In addition to starting the holiday season on the Immacolata and decorating with presepi, here are a few other notable differences between Christmas celebrations in Italy and America.
 
- There are very few outside decorations in Italy.
 
- Santa doesn’t stuff stockings – La Befana (the Christmas witch) brings them on the Epiphany (Jan 6).
 
- The local churches have a tour of their nativity scenes, with each one trying to outdo the next.
 
- Forget about pre-Christmas sales, they don’t exist. In fact, many Italians tell me prices rise before the holiday season.
 
If you are an expat, what are some of the differences between celebrating the holiday season in your new country and in your home country? If you aren’t an expat, what are some of your favorite holiday traditions?
 
Be sure to come back tomorrow for Celebrating Christmas in Italy, Part II. We’re talking food here, people!
 
* Please note that all of the customs and traditions I am referring to may be typical of southern Italy, specifically Calabria. I’m no expert on the other regions, but I hope those of you who are will chip in with your two centesimi!

 
This breakfast cake is a favorite with Il Cedro guests and has become our signature morning breakfast cake. After answering repeated requests for the recipe, we decided to type up recipe cards and offer them to our guests. I published this recipe in my newsletter last month and am offering it up to you today for this month’s First of the Month recipe!
 
So, here you go!
 
Il Cedro Bed and Breakfast signature Plum Cake
(And no. There are no plums … I don’t know why it is called a plum cake!)
 
Ingredients:
(makes eight slices)
>> ½ cup sugar
>> 2 eggs
>> 3/4 cup flour
>> 3 ½ tablespoons peanut oil
>> 1 container apricot flavored yogurt
>> 1 ounce melted butter
>> 2 tablespoons milk
>> 1 teaspoon vanilla flavoring
>> 1 tablespoon baking powder
>> Dash of salt
 
Directions:
 
1. Beat the eggs and sugar until peaks form.
 
2. Add melted butter and continue mixing.
 
3. Add yogurt, milk, vanilla and salt, mixing the ingredients well between each new addition.
 
4. Continue mixing and add flour and baking powder.
 
5. Mix in oil until smooth.
 
6. Bake in a bunt pan for 20 minutes on 300 F.
 
If you make this deliciously light breakfast cake, please let me know what you think … and if you don’t feel like making it for yourself, come on over to Il Cedro. We’ll make it for you!
 

Il Cedro Bed and Breakfast has been open around a year and a half and both my husband and I are in regular contact with many of our past guests. We love hearing how their Italian vacation started and eagerly await their emails so we know how it ended – and we are honored to be included as a stop along the way.

We recently received an array of photos from some Canadian guests who passed through Calabria in September and they’ve agreed to let me share their photos with you.

So on this chilly Sunday, I present to a snapshot of Angelo and Keri’s Venice vacation.

“We arrived in Venice during the day and were able to see how the little tugboats managed to maneuver our (cruise) ship through the narrow channels to get to the port. Everyone was on the deck taking photos and my kid Kodak was no exception!”

“We walked along back streets and went in and out of shops. We visited the open air shops … “

“We rode on a gondola and we had the big moment when Angelo asked me to remarry him. How romantic!”

I’d like to thank Angelo and Keri for sharing part of their 25th wedding anniversary with us at Il Cedro Bed and Breakfast in Calabria and for updating us on the romantic finale to their once-in-a-lifetime vacation.

Auguri!

 
See that tree? It has been standing just outside my house since long before this house was my house. And see that fruit?
 
Here’s a closeup.
 

 
Do you know what those are?
 
They are persimmons or as we say in Italian – cachi.
 
The precarious fruit arrives in late September and for many a kaki lover, doesn’t last long enough.
 
But there is a method to selecting and eating persimmons that is downright vital knowledge, ‘less you want a chalk-infused bitter-obsessed army to assault your taste buds and leave your mouth puckered up begging for a drop of aqua.
 
Not so much?
 
Alright then.
 
Remember, the softer … no, the mushier the persimmon the sweeter it will be. So choose carefully!
 
I’ve found two acceptable ways to eat a persimmon that maximize pulp and minimize funk.
 
Method 1:
 
1. Slice off the top of the persimmon and peel the fruit.
2. Eat it like an apple aka… with your hands, but be sure not to bite into the persimmon too deeply. The middle core is nasty! And you don’t want to touch that stuff with your tongue. Trust me!
 
Think that method is too messy for you? It is for me. Here is a cleaner, more precise way to eat a persimmon.
 
Method 2:
 
1. Slice off and discard the top of the persimmon.
2. Inside you will see a dark yellow-orange core. Use a knife or small spoon to scoop it out. THIS is the part that is unpalatable.
3. Use a small spoon to eat the pulp, but be sure not to eat any of the outer peeling.
 
Yum!
 
In addition to the sweet scent and candy-like flavor, persimmons have many added health benefits.
 
According to Wikipedia the Free Encyclopedia:
 

 
You know. It never hurts to be careful.
 
So get out there and find you some cachi before the season ends. And if you are heading to Catanzaro -stop by our bed and breakfast. We give ‘em out to our guests for free!
 
Have you ever had persimmons? What did you think? Have you tried the untouchable core and lived to tell about it?
 
Happy Love Thursday!
 

 
You can imagine how thrilled we were when we found this at Il Cedro a few months ago.
 

 
Now, pull your eyes away from that precious face and check out her side.
 
What is that?
 
A heart?
 
Happy Love Thursday everyone!
 

 
I know … I know. Summer is ending, but is it really ever too late for an shaken iced coffee treat?
 
I didn’t think so.
 
As with many of the other things I’ve learned to create since arriving in Italy, this icy coffee beverage evolved out of necessity.
 
- It’s 100 degrees in the shade
- Italians are worried we’ll die if we activate the AC
- I miss Starbucks. (There I said it!)
 
So, today I present to you MY VERSION of the Caffé Shakerato. I love it. Il Cedro guests loved it. And I hope you will, too.
 
Ingredients:
 
>> One shot of espresso
>> 1/2 cup of milk
>> 8-10 ice cubes
>> Sugar
>> Cocoa
 
Preparation:
 
1. The basis of any good coffee drink is a hefty, flavorful espresso. I like Aiello. It is from Calabria.
 

 
2. In a cocktail shaker (who KNEW they could be used for non-alcoholic treats?) combine espresso, milk and ice.
 

 
3. Add slightly more sugar than you would for a hot cappuccino and sprinkle with cocoa. Sometimes when I am feeling frisky I add a spoon of vanilla syrup. Yum!
 
4. And shake shake shake … shake shake shake … shake your groove thing, Awe! Shake your groove thing. And, yes. I actually dance a bit and sing this song as I shake.
 

 
5. Pour into a glass, collect foam from the bottom of the shaker, add to the top of your glass and garnish with cocoa.
 
Eccola!
 

 
My recipe too basic for you? Here are few more caffé shakerato recipes you might enjoy.
 
Shakerato with Chocolate Syrup
 
Shakerato with Bailey’s Irish Cream
 
Shakerato with Ice Cream
 
Have you ever had a caffé shakerato? Do you have yours at breakfast or is it better as an afternoon or evening snack?
 
* Happy Labor Day to our US-based buddies and a big hug and prayer to our friends along the Gulf Coast. We’re thinking about you …
 

 
It isn’t that I’m not an observant person … well, maybe it is. You see the thing is, I’ve always prided myself in my attention to detail, in my ability to add intricate things that make a good thing – great. I did it at my Disney jobs, at LU and in my own wedding. I am a detail nut. I always told my staff “the success is in the details,” and I believe that.
 
That being said, it would be easy to confuse “being detail-oriented” with “being observant.” The first I am, the second, well … not so much.
 
After last week’s heartfelt find in Scalea, I went on search for more and more hidden hearts.
 
This is what I found.
 

 
And I found this, too.
 

 
Know where they were?
 
At our bed and breakfast in Catanzaro where I spend sooo many hours each day, both with my freelance writing and B&B duties … Who knew?
 
Here’s hoping a not-so-hidden surprise finds you today and fills your day with LOVE. Happy LT!