Adjusting to life in southern Italy-without a drop of Italian ancestral blood in my veins-took a bit more practice than it did for my Italian-American counterparts. You see, I didn’t grow up eating seven fishes at Christmas or fearing the dreaded malocchio.

But as Lisa Fantino of Wanderlust Women Travel explains, most Italian-American kids know of the Calabrian evil eye-and know how to protect themselves.

***
Calabria may be Cherrye’s adopted homeland but part of my roots come from there. The Sicilian majority of my DNA is cramping my muscles as I write this but it’s true. Yet, the Sicilian and Calabrese cultures are so close to each other that it was difficult for me, as a kid growing up in an Italian-American household, to distinguish between the two.

One thing that was taught from an early age was all about the malocchio, “the evil eye.” Southern Italians swear that this curse may herald the end of the world if placed upon you by another. Their answer to repel such cursed maladies is the gorni or horn. You’ve all seen it, that singular horn that is everywhere from men who wear the charmed amulets around their necks to nonnas who hang giant red gornis in their kitchens (along with the streghe or witches). As for me, mine was a gold one bestowed upon me the day I was born. All babies need extra protection, according to the Calabrese, because they are the most vulnerable of all.

Now, why would anyone give the malocchio to another? The answer is simple. It always has to do with envy or jealousy, from the elderly zia who curses the beautiful young women of the village, to the workers’ wives who scorn the padrone who has all of the money.

Yet, there is nothing to fear because there are a host of remedies which have been around for hundreds of years and all of them seem to work. You can wear the gorni, especially if it’s made from red coral because that’s extra protection. You can bless yourself with the sign of the cross when you come within 50 yards of the person who has cursed you. You can spit on the ground at the mention of their name. You can wear the mano cornutta (“horned hand”) around your neck because that essentially gives them the horns right back.

Lastly, you should know that you cannot truly prevent malocchio. It is all around us. Therefore, it is truly best to take precautions early:

1. Hang a bunch of skinny dried hot red pepper over your stove. They look like red horns and keep your kitchen safe.

2. Take a container of salt and sprinkle it everywhere. This is a must, from the corners of your new home so evil does not come in, to the trunk of your new car so blessings will always be with you.

3. And for added measure, just to make sure that the malocchio doesn’t find you in your dreams……….there’s the malocchio cloth, a giant piece of red material which should be placed between the floor and you, essentially between your mattress and boxspring, so that you will sleep soundly and safely.

Hey, I’m a left-brain/right-brain kind of girl with a masters and a doctorate and I wouldn’t mess with this stuff. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Lisa Fantino is an award-winning journalist and attorney and the creative force behind Wanderlust Women Travel and the Italy destination wedding portal Wanderlust Weddings, which specializes in destination weddings and honeymoons in Italy. She also writes travel features for MNUI Travel Insurance and blogs as Lady Litigator.

Traveling south? Click here to see how I can help you plan your trip to Calabria or southern Italy.

Photo: Zazzle (you can purchase anti-malocchio merchandise from this site, as well!)

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In fact, I’ve been tossing around ideas such as “funny Italian words,” “strange Italian words,” even “beautiful Italian words,” so I figured I’d throw ‘em all together and share them today.

1. Allora

Allora is one of my all-time favorite Italian words and like  many Italians I know, I toss it into the conversation whenever I get a chance. It can be used like, “and, so … ” or “in that case” and even “now what?”

Ex: Allora … dimmi!

So …. tell me!

2. Meno male

In English, we’d say, “thank goodness,” but in Italian it it so much more charming. Meno male literally means “less bad,” and is one of those Italian expressions that makes me laugh. Seriously, I love it and since I learned it I have looked for ways to interject it into my conversations. For more, read this article on meno male in The Florentine.

Ex: Meno male che ci sei tu.

Thank goodness you are here.

3. Stufa

When I think of stufa I think of the little electric heater that could, working so hard to build up his steam that finally, after years of trying, he explodes. Yes, stufa means stove but it can also be used as an expression to say you are sick of something.

Ex: Oggi sono stufa di parlare.

I’m tired of talking today.

4. Telefonino

I actually like most of the words that end in “ino” and make the base word just a little smaller, but telefonino is one of my favorites. Really, it is so much cuter that cellulare, isn’t it?

Ex: Ho perso il mio telefonino.

I lost my cell phone.

5. Berlusconiani

The first time I heard this word I almost fell out of my chair. Can you guess what it means?

It describes someone who likes Italy’s controversial prime minister and is essentially calling them “a fan of Berlusconi.” Apparently it can be used for anyone, so those of you out there who like me can be called “Cherryeani.”

I like it.

Ex: E’ un berlusconiano!

He is a person who likes Berlusconi. (Just ain’t the same, is it?)

So confess. What are you favorite Italian words? If you have a blog, join in the meme and post on your site, otherwise, leave them in the comments.

This post was written on behalf of Affordable Calling Cards, click here to read other posts written by expats in the ACC community.

Traveling to southern Italy? Click here to see how I can help you plan your trip to Calabria or southern Italy.

Photo: Podbean

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Earlier this year I wrote a guest post for Melanie of Italofile about some of my favorite Italian words. As is turns out, that post has been quite popular. So Melanie challenged other Italy bloggers to come up with their favorite Italian words to create something of a series of posts that would be both fun and potentially useful to people trying to learn the language.

Melanie said I didn’t have to play, since I’d already written about my favorite Italian words, but what she didn’t know is that I had enough trouble narrowing my original list to five that I’m quite happy to have a chance to add to it! And, just to make the whole thing even more appropriate, I’m doing so with another guest post.

Here, then, is another list of five favorite Italian words.

boh

pronounced: boh

This may be one of the most useful and user-friendly words in the entire Italian language. I consider it the verbal equivalent of a shrug, but it’s a more all-purpose word than you might think. I tried to explain it to an American friend who said he thought our “meh” was about the same thing, but I disagree. “Boh” can be used in the same way “meh” can, in that “eh, who cares, we’ll just have to see” kind of way. But it can also mean “I’ve no idea what to think about that,” or “your guess is as good as mine,” or “there’s no point in trying to make any sense of it.” It’s often accompanied by an actual shrug and a slight frowny-face gesture, and this physical manifestation of “boh” is all you need to convey “boh” without even opening your mouth.

scoiattolo

pronounced: skoy|AHT|toh|loh

This is one of those words that I just like because of the way it sounds, regardless of how useful – or, in this case, useless – a word actually is. “Scoiattolo” is the Italian word for squirrel, and for some reason I enjoy saying it. I haven’t gotten to the point yet that I make up excuses to use the word “squirrel” in Italian sentences, but I would totally support anyone else who did that. Although I will confess that if I saw the word “scoiattolo” on a menu in Italy I’d be awfully glad I knew what it meant so I could think twice about ordering it.

fanciulla

pronounced: fahn|CHOO|lah

I have a photographer friend who lives in the Friuli region of Italy. Alessandro’s English is impeccable (much better than my Italian), and because he’s Friulano he also speaks the Friulano language. He’s constantly throwing Friulano into our Skype chats, so despite the fact that I’m still struggling to learn Italian there are a few Friulano words that have made their way into my brain, too. While “fanciulla” isn’t Friulano, it is a word I know only thanks to Ale. He often greets me on Skype with, “Ciao, fanciulla!” which is roughly the equivalent of “Hey, young lady!” but without the grandfatherly connotations. I do think it’s a sort of old-fashioned word, and I’ve never heard anyone else use it, but I love the way it sounds and I love that Ale has made it a sort of nickname for me.

spritz

pronounced: spreetz

While we’re in the northeastern region of Italy, why not stop and have a drink? You’re looking at the word “spritz” and thinking, “That’s not Italian.” And you’re right. But it’s become an Italian thing. “Spritz” is from spritzer, or seltzer water, and in some regions of Italy it’s the name for a cocktail. A spritz typically consists of prosecco (or other sparkly white wine), seltzer/sparkly water, and bitters such as Aperol or Campari, often with a slice of orange thrown in. The bitters give the drink a fantastic bright orange or red color, and it’s an excellent aperitivo drink – especially in warmer weather. You’ll find spritz particularly popular in the Veneto and other parts of northeastern Italy.

chiacchierare

pronounced: kee|ah|kyer|AH|reh

When I first learned this word, I was excited to find out that onomatopoeia existed in Italian, too – even when they don’t necessarily mean it to. The word “chiacchierare” is the verb “to chat” or “to gossip,” and it’s sometimes used to describe what’s happening when you see a group of old women sitting on a bench in the piazza. But when you say the word itself, chiacchierare, you realize that it sounds vaguely like chickens clucking. Which is, I imagine, what people who aren’t privy to a particular conversation think it amounts to. Boh, they’re just jealous…

Thanks, Jess. Be sure to come back next week for my follow up to Jessica’s post and Melanie’s meme when I list my favorite five Italian words.

About the Author:
Jessica Spiegel begin_of_the_skype_highlighting     end_of_the_skype_highlighting is the Italy expert at BootsnAll, and the woman behind BootsnAll’s Italy travel guide: WhyGo Italy. She’s happy to answer all kinds of Italy travel questions, from how to find cheap airfare to Italy to whether to buy an Italy rail pass to how to spend two weeks in Italy.

Traveling to southern Italy? Click here to see how I can help you plan your trip to Calabria or southern Italy.

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Many people suggest language learners should watch movies or listen to songs to increase their vocabulary, work on their pronunciation and to increase their understanding of the spoken language.

And so was the case with my husband.

In fact, he is fluent in English, can converse on any subject and can even follow two conversations at the same time-a feat for anyone learning another language.

But sometimes he makes mistakes, too. And yes, I admit … I love them.

Like him, I find his gaffes to be endearing and I’ll be sad the day he corrects them for good.

But until then, we’ll all get a little chuckle.

One of P’s original blunders comes from a long-running TV show and one of his favorite movies … Bad Boys.

You can imagine how hard it was to hide a smile as he busted a move while singing … “Bad boys, bad boys, what I’m gonna do? What I’m gonna do when I come for you?”

Other famous one-liners from movies are often injected into everyday conversations, such as …

“Peppe, do you want some more coffee?”

“No, I’ll pass,” he says. “I pass on grass.”

Or sometimes it comes out during a battle with our nine-year nephew …

“Cole,” he’ll warn him. “You are going down! Downtown to China town.”

Sometimes it isn’t a bad movie line at all, but rather a little grammatical inversion that is all the more charming.

“Cherrrrrrye,” he’ll say, with at least a dozen R’s, “Can I confess you something?”

Of course, the first time he said this fear set in, I took a mighty gulp and whispered, “Yes, go on …” afraid of what he might say. But now I know his “confessions” are nothing more than “I think the pasta sucked,” or maybe “I am so damn tired.”

And then there is my new personal favorite, a common expression learned from a movie but easily injected into everyday conversations when things don’t go his way … “Cherrye, I have shit out of luck!”

And on that note … buon weekend!

What are some of your favorite mistakes your foreign friends make in English? Please share.

This post is written on behalf of AffordableCallingCards.net. Visit their site to read similar posts written by other expats in the ACC community.

Top picture by Zishan.com

Traveling to southern Italy? Click here to see how I can help you plan the trip of a lifetime.

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Today is Easter Monday, or Pasquetta as they say in Italian, and I’m gearing up for my first *ever* celebration. Yes, yes, I’ve been in Italy the past four Pasquetta holidays, yet, something always got in the way of my party.

This year, we closed our B&B and my husband promised me the perfect Pasquetta in Calabria.

There is an Italian expression, “Natale con i tuoi, Pasqua con chi vuoi,” which means Christmas with your family, Easter with whoever you want, however, I think it should be “Pasquetta con chi vuoi” … at least here in Calabria.

The truth is, I’m not sure we really have a choice as to whether we celebrate Easter with the family-most Calabrians I know still expect the big family dinner for Easter Sunday and well, since I’m pazza for my little Calabrian father-in-law, I don’t really mind the feast.

The real choice, however, is how to spend Pasquetta.

Normally Calabrians of all ages choose either a mountain or beach theme for their Pasquetta celebration and plan accordingly. Yes, it is too cold to enjoy the beach in the traditional sense, but they head out, either with close friends or family-can’t really get the tuoi out of this group-and enjoy a cookout or picnic.

Weather-permitting, we are heading up to La Sila today to soak in the springtime and enjoy a leisurely lunch in the mountains. Wish you were here … .

Buona Pasquetta!

Have you ever celebrated Pasquetta? What did you do?

Traveling to southern Italy? Click here to see how I can help you plan the trip of a lifetime.

Today’s guest, Danielle Russo, owner of When in Rome Tours and B&B shares her favorite experience-getting to know her neighbors.

Welcome to My Bella Vita, Danielle and thank you for sharing.

***

One of the things I love most about living in Rome is how on any given day when I step out into city, I needn’t go far before stumbling into some truly exceptional characters. While some might call them crazy, I think they are part of what makes Rome such an amazing city to live in.

In today’s post I’d like to introduce you to a few of my favorite Roman “neighbors.”

The rush-hour barber

When you care about your hair as much as this man does, there is never a wrong time or place to stop for a trim. Not even the middle of a busy intersection during rush hour traffic.

Homeless Diva
(pictured above)

Upon first glance, this woman may appear to be just your average garden variety beggar. As you get closer, you will find that she actually has a beautiful operatic voice. With a simple but extreme makeover one could replace those dirty high waist jeans, faded t shirt and hand jingles with a gown, a henna treatment and some jewels and she would be worthy of the stage.

The Shoe Man of San Giovanni

On the corner of Via Sannio and Piazza di San Giovanni in Laterano there is a truck. Inside that truck miracles happen.

Whether you have a strappy sandal emergency, a busted stiletto heel that has fallen victim to the Roman cobblestone streets, or even if you are just out doing some plain old “sole searching”, this is your man. He is chatty, has odd taste in vehicles and is a bit eccentric, but rest assured, he can fix any shoe you bring him quickly and cheaply. He reminds me of one of things I love most about living in Italy: when things break, we fix them rather than tossing them out in order to buy the latest model.

Il Pazzo Di Piazza Barberini

Perhaps my favorite of all is Egidio (also known as “the crazy” of Piazza Barberini). Egidio can usually be seen making the rounds at Piazza Barberini, receiving messages from other galaxies through a pocket radio and an antenna made out of aluminum foil (or a feather, as featured in the photo). He loves to talk to passersby, and is NOT camera shy. Egidio is known and loved here in Rome, he even has a facebook fan page with nearly 4,000 fans to prove it.

Now that you’ve been introduced, be sure to say hello if you happen to bump into them while sightseeing in Rome!

Danielle Russo is a coordinator of Rome and Vatican Tours. She lives in Rome, Italy and writes about travel for MNUI travel insurance as well as WhenInRomeTours.com.

***
Traveling to southern Italy? Click here to see how I can help you plan the trip of a lifetime.

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They were also instrumental in helping us nurture our relationship and establish the foundation we have today.

Every now and then I get emails from people, usually women, who are dating an Italian man long distance and looking for some tips, advice or just a caring “ear” from someone who’s been there.

Today, I’ll share those tips with you.

Here are five tips for surviving an international long distance relationship.

photo credit: victoriapeckham

1. Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk

… and then talk some more.

Long distance partners have it easier today than we had it just four or five years ago. With Skype chat and video you can actually engage in conversations without having to rush through phone calls that are costing you a fortune.

Still, that’s what we did.

We called each other three or four times a day, sometimes just to check in and say hi, other times to share a funny story about something that had just happened and other times when we had planned a phone call.

In fact, getting into a routine and knowing when you will hear from your partner is good idea. It helps cement expectations and helps you avoid manic why-hasn’t-he-called moments.

2. Have a Plan

Some relationship experts will tell you to have a plan on when the two of you will be together-forever. Personally, I think that is a little extreme. When my husband and I decided to try our hands at a long distance relationship, we had no idea how it would work out.

Instead of adding to an already stressful relationship by forcing a plan that may or may not be easy to make, take baby steps.

Have a plan on when you will see each other next.

Airport goodbyes are always sad and tearful, but knowing when you will see each other again is essential for moving forward.

3. Get a Life

You absolutely can not have a positive long distance relationship if you crawl into your bed and turn off the lights until he resurfaces. You have to have a life.

Finding your groove when you are apart will fill the time and help you feel more independent-an attractive quality in any partner.

That being said, I attribute much of our success to the fact that we were both over the going-out-every-night-drinking-and-dancing stages of our lives. One night of alcohol-induced craziness can kill any relationship … imagine what it could do after months of missing your long distance lover.

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page.

4. Stay Connected

And I’m not talking Internet, phone or Skype here. I’m talking about you.

Staying connected and ensuring you remain on the same page is instrumental to the success of your LDR. It is also a good idea to put yourself in his/her shoes. Before we’d make any big decision, we would think of what we would have wanted the other person to do in that situation.

If you wouldn’t be comfortable with your boyfriend going out and having drinks with a same-city ex, then you shouldn’t go. But again … make sure you are on the same page.

5. Stay Positive

We were lucky. Our friends and family members were totally on board and supportive of us throughout our relationship, but we still had some Negative Nellies who insisted on sharing their gloom.

“It’ll never work.”

“How are you going to make it?”

“I wonder what he/she is doing now.”

You don’t have room for these thoughts in your long distance relationship, so kick ‘em out. Either refuse to talk about your relationship with negative people or distance yourself from them all together.

Your relationship has enough stress. Don’t let someone else dump their stress onto you.

Did you survive a long distance relationship? What other tips would you share?

Traveling to southern Italy? Click here to see how I can help you plan the trip of a lifetime.

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Surviving a long distance relationship is not impossible.

No, it’s not easy-but it is doable.

I dated my husband five years long distance-he was in southern Italy, I was in southeast Texas-and they were the longest five years of my life.

They were also instrumental in helping us nurture our relationship and establish the foundation we have today.

Every now and then I get emails from people, usually women, who are dating an Italian man long distance and looking for some tips, advice or just a caring “ear” from someone who’s been there.

Today, I’ll share those tips with you.

Here are five tips for surviving an international long distance relationship.

photo credit: francoiskarm

1. Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk

… and then talk some more.

Long distance partners have it easier today than we had it just four or five  years ago. With Skype chat and video you can actually engage in conversations without having to rush through phone calls that are costing you a fortune.

Still, that’s what we did.

We called each other three or four times a day, sometimes just to check in and say hi, other times to share a funny story about something that had just happened and other times when we had planned a phone call.

In fact, getting into a routine and knowing when you will hear from your partner is good idea. It helps cement expectations and helps you avoid manic why-hasn’t-he-called moments.

2. Have a Plan

Some relationship experts will tell you to have a plan on when the two of you will be together-forever. Personally, I think that is a little extreme. When my husband and I decided to try our hands at a long distance relationship, we had no idea how it would work out.

Instead of adding to an already stressful relationship by forcing a plan that may or may not be easy to make, take baby steps.

Have a plan on when you will see each other next.

Airport goodbyes are always sad and tearful, but knowing when you will see each other again is essential for moving forward.

3. Get a Life

You absolutely can not have a positive long distance relationship if you crawl into your bed and turn off the lights until he resurfaces. You have to have a life.

Finding your groove when you are apart will fill the time and help you feel more independent-an attractive quality in any partner.

That being said, I attribute much of our success to the fact that we were both over the going-out-every-night-drinking-and-dancing stages of our lives. One night of alcohol-induced craziness can kill any relationship … imagine what it could do after months of missing your long distance lover.

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page.

4. Stay Connected

And I’m not talking Internet, phone or Skype here. I’m talking about you.

Staying connected and ensuring you remain on the same page is instrumental to the success of your LDR. It is also a good idea to put yourself in his/her shoes. Before we’d make any big decision, we would think of what we would have wanted the other person to do in that situation.

If you wouldn’t be comfortable with your boyfriend going out and having drinks with a same-city ex, then you shouldn’t go. But again … make sure you are on the same page.

5. Stay Positive

We were lucky. Our friends and family members were totally on board and supportive of us throughout our relationship, but we still had some Negative Nellies who insisted on sharing their gloom.

“It’ll never work.”

“How are you going to make it?”

“I wonder what he/she is doing now.”

You don’t have room for these thoughts in your long distance relationship, so kick ‘em out. Either refuse to talk about your relationship with negative people or distance yourself from them all together.

Your relationship has enough stress. Don’t let someone else dump their stress onto you.

Did you survive a long distance relationship? What other tips would you share?

Traveling to southern Italy? Click here to see how I can help you plan the trip of a lifetime.

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1. Three Ways to Celebrate International Women’s Day in Italy You know how your mom said something as...
2. Adjusting to Expat Life in Italy: Tips and Strategies Long moonlit walks along the Mediterranean, candy-colored ice...
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One of my new favorite hobbies is going through my Stat Counter and Lijit reports and discovering which terms readers search to reach this blog. Popular terms include “Pasta Puttanesca Recipe,” “How Do You Eat a Persimmon” and “Things You Shouldn’t Say in Italy” – and we’ll get back to that in a minute.

It is an eye-opening experience, glimpsing into the mind of the average Italophile Internet-searcher, and it brings a certain responsibility that I refuse to take lightly.

So, you asked-or someone did!-and now I’ll answer. Here are five of the most interesting terms that were searched this week on My Bella Vita.

photo credit: Spencer E Holtaway

1. Che Cazzo Fa

See? I told you we’d get back to things you should say.

Che Cazzo Fa is literally translated as “What the …” wait, we’ve been over this. I’ve already warned you about this one.

2. You Dirty Pig in Italian

You dirty pig-or brutto porco-is yet another example of something you shouldn’t really say. I pressed my husband for details on this expression and his words to me, and thus to you, were, “Cherrye, you shouldn’t really say it. It is not very … classy.”

He did, however, admit that friends freely toss this term around when joking with each other.

3. Why Do Italians Say Ma Va

I almost fell out of my chair reading this because I instantly envisioned a young Italian-American struggling to decipher the words his grandmother muttered in moments of frustration as she walked around her kitchen table.

Seriously, can’t you see it?

She’s walking around the room, an over-sized moo-moo like dress hanging to her knees-in my vision it is white with tiny red and pink flowers-and she’s throwing her hands into the air in utter annoyance, muttering, “ma va …”

Ok. I’m back.

Anyway, dear Google searcher, your grandmother-yes, I’m still hung up on that-says ma va as a precursor to the granddaddy of Italian expressions, “ma vafaculo.”

And no. It isn’t nice to say.

4. Flirting with Italian Men

Interestingly enough, my blogging pal, Jessica of Why Go Italy recently wrote an article about impressing Italians. Her tips might help if you’re looking to date one or take him home to mamma. I’d also recommend you flirt unabashedly.

They do.

And you know … when in Rome.

5. Should I Sleep with an Italian Man

Seriously, I could not make this stuff up.

So, honey, if you re-Google this or come back here on the seemingly off-chance that I answered your question, you are in luck.

My initial thought was, “it works for me!”

But then I decided to go the more responsible route and reply with “get to know your partner and use a condom. Or just in case he doesn’t speak English … un preservativo!

Bloggers, have you had any funny search terms come up in your stats lately? Please share. And readers, feel free to leave a comment or question. This little post could turn into a series.

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I type this post-one day before it’ll be published and you’ll read it-on the one year anniversary of the day my life  forever changed.

Yes, that sounds dramatic-and those of you know me know I have that flair … but this time, it is true.

One year ago today I received that middle-of-the-night phone call from my mother that spurred my last-minute trip to Texas, the fight to arrive at my father’s side “in time” and the inevitable services and formalities that follow when things don’t go as you’d hoped.

One year ago today, I was still a rather naive American living the dream in southern Italy.

One year ago today, I had that sense of indestructibility of people who’ve never been crushed.

One year ago today, I didn’t think we’d make it.

But we did.

I’ve been thinking lately about the events in our lives that forever change us. It doesn’t have to be something as dramatic as a middle-of-the-night phone call or as traumatic as the death of a loved one. For many of us it is the moment we met our future spouse, the day your children were born, the day we moved abroad.

And it is that positivity of change I want to focus on today.

photo credit: dodo1976

For starters, I want to welcome Leanne of from Australia to Italy to bella Calabria. She and her bel ragazzo (aka: new fiance) recently relocated to Malito in the province of Cosenza-about an hour northwest of me here in Catanzaro. They have a lot of things in the works up there and I wish them good luck with their new endeavors.

Elsewhere in Calabria, Michelle of Bleeding Espresso has been talking about Zen in the Pen and one of her kids, Pasqualina, was recently entered into a photo contest at Huffington Post. I gave her a “10″-and you should, too … but I still don’t see the family resemblance, Michelle.

Natalie Trusso Cafarello of Letters From Tuscany recently wrote about a love affair of a different kind-a love affair with a woman, whose tough past and complex future is often at odds with Natalie’s own plans for this lovely lady. It is poignantly written and soulful, and I’m sure this woman’s other lovers feel the same way about her.

Speaking of love affairs, the Italophile site has information on dating and mating in the bel paese, complete with facts and data about marriage in Italy, who the Italians are marrying, when they are marrying and why, while Jessica at Why Go Italy has helpful hints for anyone wanting to snag-snag, guys, not shag-an Italian.

If you already have that someone special, visit Melanie at Italofile for a roundup from the Twittersphere of the most romantic places in Italy locals go with their sweethearts.

As for me and my sweetheart, we are going to lay low this weekend, reflect upon the events of this past year and give thanks to all of the loves of our lives. Valentine’s Day is not just a day for lovers, it is a day for love. It’s a day for friends-both real-life and virtual-and a day to celebrate the impact these people have in your life. And I, for one, am glad you are here.

Happy Festa di San Valentino!

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(This post was originally published on this site in May, 2007)

Old Wives’ Tales.

We’ve all heard them. We’ve all repeated them. We might even believe a few of them.

Like, “Don’t play with fire or you’ll wet the bed,” which always scared me a little bit.

Or, “Don’t cross your eyes or they’ll stay that way,” which I believed until I was in my 20s!

Or even, “If you swallow gum, it will stay in your system for seven years,” which I am embarrassed to admit I believed until I researched this article!

Stop laughing.

Please…

The funny thing about Old Wives’ Tales, though, is that most of the time intelligent, logical-minded people (myself included, despite the above revelations) know they are not true.

This is sooo not the case for Southern Italians. In fact, to hear them, you’d be amazed how we have managed to dodge death all these years and how the American race hasn’t yet become extinct.

Therefore, since I have been fortunate enough to be bestowed with this knowledge, I feel I absolutely must, in good faith, pass this information on to you. Consider yourself warned!

photo credit: Fiore S. Barbato

Did you know you are risking DEATH if you…

- Walk around with wet hair? Oh yes, my friends, death could come a knockin’ – so keep your head dry (and covered, if possible) at all times. Peppe’s dad warned me once against this, but stubborn ole me, didn’t listen. A few hours later I had a bad headache. Hmmm ….

- Stay outside in the cold without a coat? Apparently you can get pneumonia which will inevitably lead to a quick demise. This includes, not only a coat and close-toed shoes (until summer arrives) but long-sleeves when there is wind and socks after dark. Proceed with caution and avoid that draft whenever possible!

- Sit in front of the air-conditioning? Well, maybe you won’t DIE from this, but you could catch a horrific sore throat! Apparently the cold air, when blown directly towards your face, is toxic. Who knew? So, once again – dodge that draft!

- Use the air conditioning? Who knew Americans were such risk-takers? People throughout the country put their lives at risk every day simply by turning on the air. Italians are much smarter about this. If you are hot, you must stay hot, or your body will react badly and incite a sudden death! I kid you not. My gym is not air conditioned for this very reason, and I have to get plum pissy at home before they turn on the AC in the summer. This, by the way, applies to all central heating units and ceiling fans. Another case of draft dodging? I think so!

- Sit by an open window when the wind is blowing? For reasons similar to the two above examples – I wouldn’t do it!

- Drink ice cold water? Ice water alone won’t cause death but will likely lead to a brutal sore throat. However, after working out or being in the heat, you could die an early death from consuming this ice-poison. Here’s an example: I went for a 45 minute jog the other day and returned home to a locked house. So, I visited Zia M.

Zia M: “Can I get your something “fresh” to drink?”

Me: “Sure! How about some water?”

Zia M: “Oh, no, you can’t have water. Maybe some nice pear juice instead? “Fresh” water will make you sick.”

Me: Thinking … uhh, can I have some stale water, but instead said, “No, I don’t like pear juice. Really, I’ll just have water.”

Zia M brings out the warmer-than-room-temp water, thus causing me to worry about the millions of Americans who drink cold water every day at their local gym. I did, however, feel a pang of guilt for insisting Zia M provide water after a workout. (Inevitably, forcing her to double-up on her daily Hail Marys since she quite possibly provided the venom that would lead to my swift, albeit foreseeable, death.)

So, to make her feel better I added …

“I have a little headache today … it must be because the weather is changing!”

She agreed and I had once again passed the “I’m-cool-enough-to-be-married-to-your-Godson-even-though-I’m-not-Italian” test!

In addition to the above warnings, you should know that you can “protect” yourself from a sore throat by wearing a scarf tied tightly around your neck, hence covering your throat, and once again, dodging the draft.

You can also prevent an array of undesirable ailments such as diarrhea, infertility, hemorrhoids and pneumonia by wearing slippers in the house. (Infertility?!?)

All laughter aside though, some things really can be fatal! I told Peppe about this post and about some of the information I discovered about Italian wives’ tales.

Me: “You know, Peppe, you CAN go swimming after you eat. You won’t get cramps!”

Peppe: “What? No, Cherrrrrye!”

Me: “Peppe, I just read it.”

Peppe: “No, baby, no … you can DIE from this!”

Me: (trying to conceal a laugh) “What?”

Peppe: “You can screw up your digestion system and you can really DIE!”

Well, I’m glad to know that! Just in time for summer, too.

So, blog readers, take heed! Tell your mothers. Tell your sisters. Tell your friends. It is up to us to let America know the risks lurking at every air duct and water fountain. Are you up for the challenge?

Happy Dodging!

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(This post was originally published on this website in April, 2007)

***

No woman should ever be party to the following conversation with her true love …

Her: “Happy Six Month anniversary, sweetie…What did you do this morning?”

Him: “I am so tired. I spent all morning with my hoe!”

Her: “WHAT?!!?”

Him: “Yea, I am just worn out!”

—

This was us 48 months ago. Forty-eight months and that hoe is still in the picture!

photo credit: chidorian

At least she was this week.

Peppe decided that Thursday morning was the perfect day to work in the giardino. To me, a garden is a cute little nest of fruit and veggies or a bed of colorful flowers … Yea, not so much the case around here.

We have a B-I-G yard, full of orange, mandarin, and lemon trees, cherry trees, grape vines, a few quasi-dead blooms, and lots of TALL weeds! In a word? Tragico!

I met Peppe downstairs and was immediately handed “the little hoe.”

I was, it seems, too much woman for her, since after two or three smacks in the dirt, she broke. “Never fear,” I am told, “Nino (mio suocero) is great at working with broken hoes. He’ll have her working again in a minute!”

And, he did.

A few hours pass … yes, you read that right … a few HOURS pass, and we are still in the garden. I’m hacking away at some random weeds when Peppe puts his hoe down and says

“Cherrye, sometimes it’s better without your hoe – you gotta use your hands!”

He says this, you see, without cracking a smile, as I am standing there all nasty-minded in the blinding Calabrese sun. I smile to myself, but continue to beat the ground with my hoe. I don’t want to get my hands dirty!

We finally finish and I spend much of Thursday afternoon in a pain-filled stupor. I express my anguish to my mother later that evening, only to have her say …

“Well, Cherrye, you just aren’t used to ‘hoe’ing’ around. I, for one, am glad to hear it!”

And, boy is she right! Two days later I am still stiff! (No pun intended…really!)

I am pretty sure I have bruised my palms, I can’t turn my neck all the way to the right, and Peppe hurt me tonight, when he HUGGED me!

He, on the other hand, isn’t sore at all. Should I be concerned about his “hoe’ing?”

***

In related news, today, December 30 is Peppe’s (cough)th birthday!

Auguri, tesoro … and please after all of these years … no. more. hoes. Deal?

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Having a Calabrian father-in-law takes some adjustments.

- No matter how much you eat, it is never enough.

- You have to learn a new language to communicate, and I’m not talking about Italian.

- And no matter how hard you try you might never-ever!-decipher his hand gestures and grunts.

But all that aside, having a Calabrian father-in-law really takes the torta.

And here is why.

1. It is never boring

I’ve written a lot about how funny Italians are, especially my Calabrian suocero, Nino who told his sister he prays for me every night … because he is worried I don’t eat enough.

He also called the weather a bastard and told me I’ve given his son a disease, when my husband refused another piece of chicken and more broccoli … and a few weeks ago, he did it again.

My husband was serving guests at our bed and breakfast and one of them walked outside to enjoy the crisp Calabrian air. I heard my father-in-law mumble something under his breath, followed by a classic “Nino” grunt.

“What did you say?” I asked, thinking he was speaking to me.

“Ah, nothing.” He grumbled. “I thought that was Peppinuccio outside in shorts-but it is not. It is some other asshole!”

2. Every day is a gift day

Likely in an attempt to offset the fact that, at least in his mind, I don’t eat enough, every other day or so is “gift day.” Like many Calabrians, my father-in-law goes grocery shopping every day and almost every day he comes back with a surprise for me.

Check out the loot I got last week. Two Nutella Snacks (with tea), a three-pack of Pocket Espresso and a Kinder Sorpresa. What is not pictured is the two-pack of Gran Soleil desserts. Yum!

3. You can’t pull one over on him

I considered posting a photo to help you visualize my Calabrian father-in-law experience, and like any blogger worth her WordPress widgets, I asked my subject’s permission.

“Nino,” I began slowly. “I would like to put a picture of you on … ilmiosito … , ok?”

“What?” He asked. You know, he doesn’t hear well.

“A picture. Of you. sulmiosito.”

He looked at me, not smiling.

So I bargained.

“If you let me use your picture, I’ll eat meat. Every day.”

“Watch out,” my husband warned.

“Every day this week,” I clarified quickly.

He looked at me.

“Well,” I told my husband in English. “He didn’t say no.”

Nino’s head jerked up.

“No?” He repeated the one word he’d understood correctly.

“But I’ll eat meat every day.” I told him. “Please?”

“You’re tricking me,” he told me. “You can’t trick me!”

And that was that.

So, dear blog readers, I’m sorry, but you will have to continue to visualize my 70-something year old father-in-law, with his white hair, neatly combed back, his thin-rimmed glasses and gruff grin until I can convince him to pose.

Or you could just come visit us at our bed and breakfast. He shows up here from time to time, too.

Are your in-laws from a different culture than you? What are some of your favorite moments or stories?

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A few weeks ago I asked where all of the good customer service guys had gone? I lamented the lack of a customer-service oriented mentality in south Italy and wondered how businesses could remain open with the attitude they have towards their customers.

Well today, I have that answer.

photo credit: Gudlyf

But before we get to that … I have a back story.

There is a steak house in Beaumont my family frequents as often as possible. They have great steaks, great sides and according to my cousin, Angelique, great fajitas-although I leave my Tex-Mex to the professionals.

One day seven or eight of my family members met there for lunch. Since my husband and I had a lunch date a few hours later with friends, we skipped the meal. We didn’t, however, skip the company and we joined them towards the end of their meal for a chat.

It was about that time my mother noticed a hair (eek!) in her plate. She didn’t complain, just pushed it back and continued talking. The ever-attentive server noticed, asked her about it and immediately apologized and offered to bring her a replacement dish.

She was finished anyway, she said, and insisted she wasn’t upset.

A few minutes later, the manager appeared.

“I’m so sorry, Ma’am (we are in Texas, remember!),” he said.

“Are you sure you don’t want a replacement?”

When she refused, he made another offer.

“We’d like to offer you all desserts-on the house!”

Well my family never met a dessert they didn’t like and they were thrilled with this customer service gesture.

“And what kind would you like?’ He asked, looking at my husband and me.

“Oh no. We didn’t even eat here,” I said apologetically. “We just came in to see them for a few minutes.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “You are here now. What can I bring you?”

—

And that dining moment-at The Cattle Company restaurant in Beaumont, Texas-became the standard by which we measured all other customer service experiences.

And no one has ever matched them.

Until now.

Fast-forward three or four years and 6,000 miles to last Tuesday, November 17-the night of our 2nd anniversary.

We chose Carn & Vino in Catanzaro Lido-and if that name sounds familiar to you, it is because I’ve written of them before.

The restaurant has more elegance and class than any restaurant I’ve been to in southern Italy and the chef is among the most creative I’ve seen-anywhere.

But Tuesday night, I did not choose wisely.

Among the list of primi plates was a cocoa pasta dish, made with Gorgonzola cheese and topped with shredded black truffles.

Although I wasn’t sure if I liked truffles, with their strong, earthy scent and matching flavor, I thought I’d give it a try.

Now I know.

I don’t like truffles.

I picked at the plate and with the antipasto we’d shared and the quickly-diminishing bottle of wine, I was fine.

The owner stopped by the table.

“You didn’t like it?” He asked me.

My husband jumped in to help. “It was really just the truffles. They are too strong for her. She just didn’t choose well.”

Thanks, honey … .

The owner took my plate.

A few minutes later he returned.

“The chef is making you something else,” he told me.

“Oh no,” I insisted. “I’m ok. I’m not even hungry anymore.”

About that time, my husband asked him about the dessert options.

He chose homemade tiramisu. I chose panna cotta with frutti di bosco topping.

We finished our desserts and proceeded to the front of the restaurant.

“The desserts were compliments of the chef,” the owner told us.

We chatted briefly with the chef, thanked him profusely and left.

In the car my husband looked at the receipt and noticed that not only had the chef offered dessert, but the owner had removed my plate from the bill.

We were shocked.

We had finally found a restaurant whose customer service rivals our favorite steak house back home in Texas, and we found it in the most unusual place.

In another favorite steak house … in our new backyard.

Have you had any good customer service stories lately? Please share!

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While most American expats I know are happily settled into their new lives, being abroad for holidays, birthdays and special occasions can still be tough. We miss our families. We miss our friends. We miss the customs and traditions that made these events back home so darn special.

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If you are an expat living with your expat spouse and expat children, it might be easy to celebrate holidays in the same ways you did back home. However, for expats like me, who tied the knot with one of the natives, there is a little thing called compromise.

Here are three tips for merging cultures during holidays and special events.

Post continues here.

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I’ve been an expat in Italy for more than three years and I’ve experienced more than my share of crazy Calabrian moments. Yes, like the time I marketed our B&B at the GYN or the time my husband’s uncle tried to cut his son from a tree or when I was offered fruit from my own garden.

Oh yes, being an expat in Italy is interesting, but somewhere along the way, between the three-hour lunches, homemade pistachio liquor and short, but stout, coffee shots, I became one of them.

Almost.

Post continues here …

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photo credit: goddess of chocolate

Have a very Happy Halloween and a peaceful All Saints’ Day tomorrow. You can read about how we celebrate Halloween and All Saints’ Day in Calabria right here.

I have high standards.

I expect good customer service. A welcoming smile. A polite thank you.

Even in the US, I get riled up with businesses who lack accountability, who take their customers for granted, who act like they don’t give a damn. Here in Italy, I get riled rather often.

This really could be an (insert large number here) series on Customer Service in Calabria, but since I like to keep things bella here at My Bella Vita, we’ll keep this short and sweet.

I am heartbroken.

Our former favorite pizzeria, which I have written about both here and for my new gig at EasyJet Airlines wielded the blow and I just can’t, for the life of me, understand why businesses don’t care about their customers.

A few weeks ago my husband and I gathered a group of friends and asked them to join us at our favorite pizza place, da Ciro, in Catanzaro Lido. Our American friends were in town, we had another expat in tow, and a few of my husband’s cousins who hate this pizzeria.

Waiting is to be expected on a Saturday night, so we weren’t surprised when we arrived and found a crowded restaurant.

“We’ll wait outside so we don’t disturb you and your other clients,” my husband told them.

And we did.

We waited. And waited. And waited.

We watched while they seated another group-who had arrived after us-and we waited some more.

After an hour and a half, a large group of teenagers arrived and stood in the middle of the restaurant until they were seated.

My husband asked the waiter, the owner’s son-in-law, about the table.

“They were here before you,” the man told him.

“No, they weren’t,” my husband told him. “We’ve been waiting outside.”

“Well,” the man said, becoming defensive, “I’m working here. I can’t keep up with who gets here first.”

The owner walked by to listen to their conversation and continued to her seat without intervening.

There were small tables vacant and we assumed they’d push them together and offer us a seat.

We waited five more minutes. When no tables were combined or apologizes offered, we left.

And I won’t go back.

The worst part of this is that da Ciro Pizzeria isn’t alone.

Our B&B guests report incidents that are almost impossible to believe.

Apparently, there is a bed and breakfast in Catanzaro Lido that refused to serve breakfast to their guests because they were only staying one night. Another nearby bed and breakfast doesn’t offer breakfast at all. Another one charges guests for water.

Will someone explain this to me, in basic terms, as if I was a child? How do businesses operate with such lousy service and live to tell the tales?

Photo courtesy of Matchstic Blog

Little old men in southern Italy have been making homemade wines since they could walk, unfortunately, after taste-testing the different kinds of homemade wine … you can’t walk.

And that is pretty much where I was a few weeks ago when I agreed to go on an interpreting trip to Basilicata to help some fellow Calabrians communicate with long-lost American relatives.

Nice picture, eh?

Well, see that little ole man standing on the right? Let’s just say Ernest and Julio should have outsourced to Potenza, because this signore here has acres after acres of fresh grapes, sprouting on the vine, anxious to pop and share their wine-making juices with the world.

Since I was a special guest , he gave me one of his handmade baskets and let me fill it to the brim with fresh grapes.

Oh yea … those baskets are handmade. You have to be resourceful when you make this much wine.

Apparently, he used to sell most of it, but today, it is just a labor of love for him, his wife of 62 years and his children, grandchildren and special friends.

I like most homemade wines and love when the vino novello comes out each fall. What about you? Do you like homemade wines or are you more of the older-is-better type of wine connoisseur?

It is that time of year-just after the first good post-summer rain, when the air is fresher, the trees are brighter and the faithful edible snails, or lumache, as we say in Italian, are coming out to play.

And this is serious business for people in my neck of my woods.

You see, the French don’t have the stronghold on preparing these delicacies … the Calabrians think they are just as good. (They just don’t market, or shall we say, share them as well as the French do.)

I saw this little sucker the other day and knew it was just a matter of time before my husband and father-in-law were digging in the dirt and growling at me for not trying them.

Unfortunately, somebody beat them to it.

Oh yes, I give it another week or so before my suocero fills his bag and starts serving ‘em up with a thick homemade marinara to my husband and his brother. And I’ll be there … just watching.

Have you ever tried snails? What did you think? Would you recommend them?

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