Living the Language … and the Quest for the All-Italian Language Month
Photo by Yan Pritzker Photo on Flickr
“How do you say that again?”
“I thought I’d be fluent by now.”
“I’m just not good with languages …”
One of the first things expats who move to non-English speaking countries are faced with is the 24-hour language fest-and if you are anything like me, you left your invitation at home.
Over the last year negative phrases like these have crept into my consciousness and crowded my mind with self-doubt and insecurities. I. Just. Can’t. Get. It.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am perfectly conversational in Italian, can understand most people and accents and can basically get by in any situation.
But it ain’t purty.
You see, there is a difference in getting by in a language and mastering a language. And I was behind.
Then I had an epiphany. (Well, not so much an epiphany as an eye-opening website I StumbledUpon that is written by an Irish lad who is fluent in-get this!-seven languages.)
His trick?
Speak the language.
Now why didn’t I think of that?
No, seriously. Why didn’t I think of that?
While I am exceptionally proud of my quad-lingual husband, his near-perfect English does nothing to help my Italian-language woes.
And the excuses just roll in …
- I’m too tired from working all day to think in Italian at night.
- It is easier for both of us if I say what I’m trying to say in English.
- I’m too tired. It’s too hard. I just can’t!
But now I’m done.
Just like Benny of Fluent in 3 Months, I’ve decided to dedicate one month to speaking only Italian-except when speaking to my family back home, teaching English or well, when I write to you guys.
And I’m happy to report that I am one week into this linguistic bombshell of a project … I’m sad to report to you, that I’ve already failed.
In fact, I made it FOUR WHOLE HOURS without muttering a word in my mother tongue. And boy did those four hours make me tired.
But I don’t consider the exercise a failure. It has taken me a few minutes each morning to remember to speak in Italian. It has taken minutes for me to say in Italian, what I could normally spit out in seconds in English. It has taken four dozen gentile reminders to my husband-and one or two to his friends.
I am conscience of the mistakes I’ve made. No, not forgetting to double the consonant and cursing or conjugating “he should” when I want to say “I should.”
I am talking about the biggest mistake of all.
The mistake I have made for the last three years when I didn’t give myself a fighting chance to learn Italian, to speak Italian, to live in Italian … no matter how difficult that might prove to be.
What are some of the biggest language learning mistakes you have made as an expat? What advice do you have for others?
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* This post is written on behalf of AffordableCallingCards.net. Click here to read similiar posts written by other expats in the ACC expat community.
When I moved to Costa Rica in 1971, I spent a lot of time trying to think in Spanish as a way of learning, incorporating and practicing the words and phrases I’d been picking up. When I eventually met and married a Costa Rican who spoke no (or very little ) English, I found myself speaking Spanish 24 hours a day, and still consciously thinking in Spanish. One day I called my parents to catch up (something I did every couple of months) and found myself stumbling over my English! My father wrote to me to say that they enjoyed the call and that I should do it more often, if for no other reason than to maintain fluency in my native tongue! He had a point. From then on I made it a point to try to think in English. It all worked out, and I remain fluent in both, even though I don’t have much chance to speak Spanish anymore.
I am planning to write a follow up in a week or so about this. I call home every day, but the last few days I’ve been feeling like I am cheating!
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Cherrye,
I found your site from Benny’s. His advice is great. I’m struggling also. Forcing yourself to immerse the way Benny does sounds easier than it is.
I’m also a native Texan and will be moving to Rome for work – where I will be working with Italians in an Italian office and only be expected to speak Italian… The problem is that I don’t speak Italian fluently. Like you, I can understand it very well and get by but speaking it is a challenge. I’m currently enrolled in an immersion course to improve. My experience with learning this language is a bit different. My first language was Italian. I was born in Naples and my Mom is a native Italian who became an American citizen. I was forced to speak only English for school and forgot most of my Italian. When I heard that I would be assigned to Italy, I knew this would be a great chance to finally force myself to learn it again. The problem was that I was a bit arrogant because it was my first language and I thought I knew more than I did. What I didn’t internalize was that I stopped speaking Italian as a toddler. I was at a 4 year old’s level and then frozen at this level my entire life. Now that I’m in this course I find it very frustrating that I can understand and read O.K. but I can not respond well. It is definitely frustrating, embarrassing and scary when trying to formulate a sentence with a limited grasp on vocabulary and grammar. I have some added pressure since I have to, MUST get to an intermediate level in four months.
In my immersion course, I’m forced to only speak Italian in class, which helps but doesn’t seem to be enough. I have started to write my mother e-mails in Italian and have finally worked up the courage to start speaking to her in Italian on the phone even if it sometimes is Italinglish. I’m also going to work up the courage to go to one of the “language meet ups” they have here and in most cities.
How has your journey with this gone since the post?
Thanks for the comment! When are you moving to Rome and from WHERE in TX? The language month helped get me over a few hurdles, but I haven’t repeated that process like I should since then. Maybe next month! It is such a bad habit to speak English all of the time, that is for sure.
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I am also learning to speak italian and had the good fortune to be snowed in this winter with my friend’s mother, who speaks no English. Here is an important tip: sin boldly! Make mistakes with abandon and–this is the most crucial thing of all–be a real italian and never apologize for them. Embarrassment is the hardest thing to get over and the thing that keeps us from learning. Of course, all of this is easier said than done. I am an English professor and very used to saying exactly what I want all the time, and quickly. As you have rightly pointed out, not being able to do this is both tiring and frustrating. Take a lot of naps to keep your energy high and learn to sing in italian (it is fun and makes you sound a whole lot better than you really are).
My favorite Italian sing-along song is Sara’ Perche’ Ti Amo. And I agree, embarrassment only hinders our language growth!! Good tip.
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